Selfless

74

I held back my tears on the whole drive home, since it felt silly for me to be crying so much.

It was only a month.

"You know you can cry Cor..." Kat said next to me as we pulled into the driveway, "I don't need to cry, I'm okay." I lied and smiled at her.

Devyn and Tara were already inside watching TV by the time we got home. Kevin was also here since he was staying with us for the month, "hey friends!" He yelled as we came into the room. I sat on the couch and bounced Mia in my arms, I don't think I was ever going to let go of her again.

"Hey Kev, you on babysitting duty this month?" I asked causing him to laugh, "it's not babysitting, it's more of like...body guarding. I'll kick ass." He said and held his hands up like he was about to slap someone. "Riiiight." I said and turned towards the tv screen again. I bounced Mia gently on my knees as we watched the movie in front of us.

We all tried to just enjoy time together but the energy in the house was just off. It was usually fine when they went on trips because they would be back in a couple days, and it was nice to have a little break from them, but they were going to be gone for awhile so everything just seriously felt off.

A couple hours passed of us hanging out and watching tv before we decided to make dinner.  My phone started ringing causing me to whip my phone out at lightening speed,

"Hey Colby." I said when I answered. I heard him chuckle, "hey baby. What are you up to?" He asked as I heard the loud airport noises in the background, "making dinner, how was the flight?" I asked and brushed through my hair with my fingers as Mia slapped her hands on the table in front of her.

"You're so impatient!" Tara said to Mia with a laugh as she prepared the baby food for her.

"It was fine, I'm so tired from all of the plans rides." He said causing me to frown, "where are you now?" I asked and popped a grape into my mouth. "San Antonio." He said with a sigh, "that sounds fun!" I exclaimed with a smile, trying to hype him up a little bit.

"Yeah, I'm getting a little bit nervous about this whole thing." He said causing me to frown, "you're gonna be amazing. This is such a great opportunity for you guys and I just know it's going to be the best show YouTube has ever seen. Just live in the moment and have some fun, your two cheerleaders are cheering you on from LA." I said and played with my wedding ring as I spoke.

"What did I do to deserve you Cor?" I could tell he was grinning when he asked that. "Shut up, we all know I'm the lucky one here." I said and rolled my eyes. "We are both pretty lucky I guess, but hey I have to go. Enjoy your dinner, I love you." He said causing me to smile, "I love you too, stay safe." I said then hung up.

When I put the phone down I noticed Kat and Tara were on the phone now too. It made me feel a little bit better about this knowing that they were going through it with me.

As soon as they hung up I cleared my throat, "so guys I was wondering if you wanted to surprise the guys with me at some point during the month.."I proposed as I fed Mia some mashed potatoes. "That's a great idea!" Kat yelled "yeah Jake gave me the itinerary so they wouldn't even see it coming." She said with a smirk as Mia yelled for more food. "Okay miss impatient!" I said with a laugh and brought more mashed potatoes to her mouth.

"Where should we go? Like which stop?" Devyn asked. "well Salem is two weeks from today, I think that would be a cool spot to go." Tara said with a shrug.

"Sounds good to me!" I said and bounced happily. I already couldn't wait to see the look on his face when we just showed up.

We planned out the logistics of going then eventually decided it was time for bed. This was the part I was dreading the most about Colby being gone. Being in his arms always made me feel safer and more comfortable.

I put Mia to bed first, laying her in her crib, "goodnight sweet girl. I love you." I said then leaned down and kissed her head, before turning towards the door.

Kat, Tara, and Devyn were all standing in the doorway with pouted lips. "Can we......can we sleep in your bed?" Kat asked as I laughed. "Let's go." I said and brushed my hand in the direction of my room. They all scurried off into my room and jumped into the bed making me laugh, "it's gonna be tight! Our bed isn't that big." I said with a laugh as we all cuddled into eachother.

"I love you guys." Tara said as I turned the light off, "love you too!" We all chirped then cuddled into eachother fully. It made it so much easier to fall asleep with all of us in the bed together.

When I woke up I instantly felt sick so I got up and ran to the bathroom to puke. As soon as I emptied the contents of my stomach I laid on the bathroom floor, waiting for my stomach to settle. "Hey you okay?" Devyn asked as she walked in to see me shivering, "yeah I just threw up." I mumbled as she came over to help me up.

"Are you sick?" She asked and out her hand on my forehead, "I felt fine yesterday...maybe it was just from traveling or something." I said and shook my head as we walked into the bedroom. Kat and Tara were awake and on their phones. "Hey, woah..you look like shit." Tara said and looked at me causing me to laugh. "Thanks I just threw up." I said then got in the bed again, pulling the covers up to my chin.

"Did you eat something weird?" Tara asked and I shrugged, "I don't think so." I said with a shrug as Kat just looked at me. I stared back at her for a second as she squinted her eyes. "What?" I asked then she gasped with wide eyes, "what?!" I repeated louder as she just stared at me.

"Do you think you could be pregnant again?"