Black Brother Oneshots

Elder: 18 March, 1976

Dedicated to my friend, Katie. Happy Birthday, Oldie. (Title makes a little more sense to the unsuspecting readers now) Inspired by more than a couple interactions between her, our other friends, and I. I think people who know us personally would be able to figure out who's supposed to be who. Also, sorry it's so short, I'm a jackasshole, I know.

Elder: 18 March, 1976

"Merlin, I just realised," James said, lying on his bed, his arm extended in the air, counting the swirls on his drapes. 

"What did you realise?" asked Remus, looking up from his book, which he had been reading on the floor, his back against the side of his bed.

"You and Padfoot are sixteen, Moony," he murmured. "Lord, you're so old! You're like my elders."

"You should respect us like your elders," responded Sirius, jumping off his bed, and sitting on James's bed.

Remus frowned, before placing a bookmark in his book. "Prongs, I'm only seventeen days older than you," reminded Remus. "You're going to be sixteen soon."

"I know that!" exclaimed James, sitting up. "You're still my elder though! But, don't worry, I'm older than Peter."

"Peter's a fetus," declared Sirius. 

Peter, who had just been ignoring the meaningless conversation shouted, "Hey!"

"Not like he's wrong, though," smirked James. "I'm bored, can we play a game of Exploding Snaps?"

The others agreed, Remus being the most reluctant, and sat on the floor between the beds, shoving James's stuff that spread halfway across the room under his bed. 

"Moony won," said Peter, as the last card exploded.

"Moony cheated!" cried Sirius.

"Moony's a — a jackasshole!" stuttered James angrily. 

"A jackasshole?" laughed Remus, "Not a jackass or an asshole?"

"No! A merge of both!" defended James.

"Get the map for me, Wormtail. I like it. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Jackasshole. Has a ring to it." Remus smirked.

"Padfoot! Defend me!" cried out James. 

Sirius chuckled, "You walked into that one, mate."

"Got the map!" Peter handed it to Remus, who opened it up by saying; I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

"Don't do it! Sweet Merlin, I'll buy you chocolate."

Remus smiled, before folding back up the map. "That could be arranged."