Ave Maria

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Get Me Bodied

Christopher Brown | Tappahannock, VA

I walked into the arena seeing my other team mates doing their warm ups. I said my hello's to whoever I saw and walked into the locker room. I went to my station and sat down on the chair next to my locker space. I rest my head against the metal door just calming my nerves.

For some strange reason I couldn't shake the nervous feeling that overcame me since I walked through the triple doors. I feel like tonight was going to be historical but yet emotional as fuck for me. It was my last game and I didn't even mention it to the rest of my team. My coaches knew and so did the upper men and that was about it. I didn't even tell my dad because I know he'd talk me out of it but I had already made up my mind.

I was starting to become overwhelmed by a lot of things and basketball already takes up so much of my time. With me making music, I still had free time to do what I can do outside of it but basketball seemed to top all my other priorities. I had my daughter in LA and I could barely spend time with her because I've been in Virginia for more than nine months.

At least with my music I could always take a break and pick up where I left off but not basketball. I'm always on the go and barely have time to stop and smell a few flowers. I heard the locker room door open causing me to become alert. I looked up seeing it was Kelly Oubre who's the small forward for out team. He was getting traded to Phoenix for the new NBA year.

"You good man? You look like you're going through it." I chuckled as I took off my slide and putting on my trainers. "Yeah bro, just thinking that's all." I replied. He nodded his head then left out the room.

I never really built personal relationships with many players. I was a show up, work my ass off and leave type of dude. If it wasn't benefitting me in any way, there was no need for me to stick around much longer than I had to. I had nothing against the men on my team but some just gave me a fake and phony vibe and I consider myself to be a real ass nigga so I just don't say much. I sit back and observe.

It may seem a bit weird that's what got me through my last five years playing ball. I'm 30 years old now so that says a lot. I've been through a lot of shit since I started and I just learned it's best to be your own best friend and enemy. Dealing with other people is just too much mental work and emotional attachment. Too many people I cared about came into my life just to fuck me over and leave. It was time for to start protecting my mental and emotions.

I got up from the chair and walked out to the court where other players were doing free throws and other warm ups. I looked over to see my father and coach deep into a conversation along with the owners of the team. I walked over to them and they stopped their conversation to acknowledge me.

"There is my star!" My coach patted me on my shoulder as we shared a laugh. "Wassup man?" I asked him. I looked over to my dad and he looked like he was in deep thought.

"Nothing much. Your pops and I were just negotiating a new contract for you, one with more zeros and a longer stay time." I raised my eyebrows between the two. I chuckled awkwardly before saying anything.

"I appreciate that you want me to say but I can't. I got a daughter that needs me and I can't do that in a different state." I spoke in a calm tone. "This is my last game. I may be back or I won't, not fully sure but right now, it's a no from me." I could see my father's face drop in the corner of my eyes but I walked off before he said anything.

3...2...1

"Christopher!" I stopped in my tracks. I turned to see the disappointment on his face. I sighed looked down then back at him. "Are you for real? When were you gonna tell me?" I shook my head. "I wasn't gonna because I knew this was how you'd react." I spoke in a tone that made my point evident.