We got back in from the mission and we all just wanted to rest, i feel like these past few weeks i've always been surrounded by everyone so i felt like i needed to be alone for a bit because that's what i was taught.To do everything independently.
I got changed out of my suit and put some comfy clothes on, i knew at any moment Bruce would come in but i think i might sleep on my own tonight.
Right on cue Bruce walked through the door so i just stopped him in his tracks before he walked any further or he got into bed with me, i placed both of my hands on his shoulders and spoke softly saying "I think i'm going to sleep on my own tonight".
"Why...are you alright?"He replied
"Yes i'm fine i just need to be alone".I said with a small smile.
"Did i do anything wrong?"He asked sadly.
"No..no, you did nothing wrong"I said holding his cheeks.
"Alright... i'll leave you, let me know if you need anything".He said smiling walking out the door.
"Will do"I said faintly.
I walked back to bed trying to sleep as i was pretty tired, i lay there for a few hours, but i couldn't sleep; no matter how hard i tried. In the red room since i was 6 we were always cuffed to the bed at night so nobody would escape but when i was 17 i had a key and that's where i would sneak off with Bucky; thats how we got caught.
When i escaped the red room i did that as well as i was so used to it and it did help me sleep. I think i did it mostly if i got out of control i knew i wouldn't harm anyone but i didn't have to do it with Bruce as i felt safe with him. I know it sounds crazy but if you have a habit it's hard to go back. I looked in my draws and i found some so i put it tight on my wrist maybe too tight as i could tell it was going to leave a mark and i chained it to the bedpost.After around maybe 15mins i managed to drift off to sleep...
When i woke up i looked at the time and it was 6am, i felt a terrible pain in my wrist so when i looked at my wrist that was handcuffed there was blood slowly dripping down it, i must have been pulling at it in the night.
I went to get the key for it but then i realised i put it on the other side of the room.Great. I would have to text Bruce and pray he's awake, how am i going to explain this one to him?
After maybe around half an hour Bruce text back saying he was coming in, he then walked in and sat down on my bed saying "What do you need?"He then noticed the handcuffs and then basically shouted "Nat your wrist"i'm pretty sure the whole base could hear.
"Shhhh"I told him but it was too late, Tony walked in looking for Bruce anyway and then saw my wrist straight away and looked shocked saying "What did i just walk in to".He said laughing about to walk away.
"Wait....it's not what it looks like."I shouted back to him
"I think i know exactly what it looks like" he said turning walking out.He's going to tell everyone for fuck sake.
"Nat what happened?"Bruce said shocked also.
"Can you just pass me the key it's over there"I said pointing to it.He picked it up and held it for a bit asking "You can have it if you just tell me what happened".
"I-..uhh"I really don't want to tell him."Please give me the key everyone's going to walk in any second".
"No"He replied stubbornly.
I leant out for the key but he just pulled away which just made me pull my wrist even more and i winced out in pain."Sorry" He replied giving me the key.I started unlocking it and as soon as i did everyone walked in as i quickly hid them under my bed.
"Aghh me missed it"Clint shouted.
"You didn't miss anything"I replied.
"Tony said he saw you handcuffed to the bed"He replied now looking at my bloody wrist, i quickly hid it.
"I didn't sleep with Bruce last night".I replied frustrated.
"Yeah she slept on her own"Bruce replied backing me up.
"I don't believe that"Clint replied laughing.
I looked at Bucky and he looked back at me and he knew exactly why i did it, so i just nodded my head understood.
"Ok guys just leave them alone"Bucky stated ushering everyone out the room apart from Bruce.
As everyone was gone i looked back at my wrist and it was still very sore, i got up quickly and went to my bathroom and wrapped it in gauze it did sting a lot. I walked back into a confused Bruce and asked me "Do you want to tell me why you did that?"He replied softly.
"I...ughh"
"You can tell me anything"he said brushing my shoulder.
I took a deep breath"...It helps me sleep".I explained bluntly looking down at my wrist.
"How does it help you sleep?"He said panicked.
"In the umm...red room when we went to sleep they chain you to your beds so we don't try to escape, i guess i do it from habit after 11years".I replied.
"11 years...was it always this bad?"He said looking at my wrist.
"It just depends; i think i put it a bit too tight though"I said sheepishly.
"You think"He said with a small chuckle trying to lighten the mood.
"What am i going to say to the others?"I said sighing and putting my hands in my head.
"Do you want to tell them?"
"No i don't, and now they're going to believe that Tony was telling the truth...unless you want it to be the truth"I said smirking jokingly.He laughed back.
I got up and got changed as Bruce walked out to do the same, i had to explain to them the reason but how?I went to talk to Bucky to ask for his opinion on things.
I head downstairs and he was just chatting with Steve and Sam in the living room, Bucky looked at me as i pointed for us to talk.He got up and we walked into the kitchen and of course Tony was there.
"How's your wrist after last night"He said chuckling.
"Ugh..yeah it's fine"I replied quietly.
"See i knew i-"He stopped talking as Bucky gave him a death stare, everyone is mostly scared of Bucky apart from me and Steve so when he gave you a death stare you know it's game over, he has these phases every few months where he turns into the winter soldier and he always wears his mask and goggles that's when you know if you do something bad it doesn't end up nicely for you, but for me and Steve it's different.
Tony then silently walked away. "I don't know what to tell them"I said looking down at my wrist, i've told Bruce and i know he won't tell anyone else".I stated.
"I don't know it's a tough situation but whatever they think they'll get over it come here"He said bringing me into a hug, to be honest a missed his hugs, i know that we have a past together but i see him as i best friend now and i think he thinks the same.My body relaxed in his arms and we pulled away. "Just let me know if they mention it again".
"Don't kill them will you". I said
"No promises"He said chuckling back.
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Thankyou for reading :)
comment your thoughts!
Sorry for the delay :(
Yasmin<3
