It's 6am in the morning and Bruce started to wake as he was resistant from leaving my side.
"Morning....how are you doing?"Was the first thing he asked me.
"Ok, i guess"I said as if I hadn't been thinking about my situation for hours.I don't think it has truly sunk in yet.I bet today it will.
"Do you want anything to eat before you can get released from here in a few hours?"He asked, faintly holding onto my arm.
"No, I'm ok thanks,"I replied with a small smile that I reckon he didn't visibly notice.
-A few hours later-
I have decided to wait a few days for James, and if he does end up coming back.Just so i can also rest and adjust to what has recently happened.What has just happened.
I got let out of the medical bay still with a bandage around my wound, i always heal relatively quickly as i have little super soldier serum left in me, but i don't feel like a soldier, i feel weak.
I didn't really want to talk to anyone yet, I decided to lock myself in my bedroom.Not the one me and Bruce now share.
I swiftly moved over to my bed and just lay back closing my eyes.I finally let go, i couldn't hold it in anymore.Tears trickled down my face.I can't stay here for too long with the guilt of losing Bruce's baby, it was the only hope I had to have a family of our own, but now it's almost near impossible.
It's all my fault....it's all my fault.
I have to go try and find Bucky without anyone else worrying or realising they're wasting their time.They won't even know where to start.But i do.I know.
I can't go now, I have to rest and say goodbye to Bruce.Hell I might even end up dying alongside Bucky if he is where I think he is.He feels guilty.But it's not his fault.
I heard a light knock on the door, my tears were strong but silent, Bruce wouldn't have even heard me cry.But he always sees it in my face.It's very obvious when i've been crying, which doesn't benefit me at all, even though i dislike sharing my feelings.
"Nat"Bruce whispered anxiously.
I sighed, wiping my eyes, he knew I was there.He didn't need a reply.
I wandered up to the door taking deep breaths, I slowly unlocked the door, not opening it fully, just so he could see me.I looked into his eyes and they were a sad brown, he could tell.
He slowly opened the door all the way so he could enter.I shuffled backwards letting him in, he looked deeply into my eyes and embraced me in a warm hug.At first I didn't close my eyes, i looked if anyone was walking past.There was no one there. I closed my eyes barely recognising a tear was falling down my cheek.
When the hug ended it felt as if the problems I had just came straight back.He looked back at me, then wiped the tear drop off my eye with his thumb.
"It's ok with me"He replied, looking at me sorrowfully.
I knew what he meant, but I didn't want to, I was taught to show now emotions, to be a killing machine.Anything other than human.But I am human...I think.
"I know"I replied mournfully.I managed to keep a composed face, I didn't want to be babied.
A few hours later he got us some food; just for the two of us.We sat in the living room watching a film, everyone gave us our space doing other things.We just sat together peacefully enjoying each other's presence as I leant my head on his shoulder.
..........
This happened almost everyday now, it was like a routine.Even though the countless days we spent together, little under a week.There was still no sign of Bucky.
It was late on a Monday night, my wound had eventually healed. Earlier in the day I was watching Steve's emotions.I could tell he missed Bucky.
I sighed and got up, meeting up with Bruce, he was just finishing off some things in the lab with Tony.It got me thinking i need to leave when people least expect it, but i am going to leave a note.I plan to leave in the next two days, i'm scared to know what Bucky could accomplish so far.
Bruce hugged me from behind as i lost my track of thought, i really don't want to leave him.I don't.I don't have a choice.
"Hey"I said with a smirk.
He smiled back, kissing my head.
"Let's get some food"He replied, so we walked off to the kitchen.
-A few hours later-
The film finished and we tidied our rubbish away.We headed back to our room and if it was potentially the last time i see him for maybe a week, i wanted to make it special.
As we walked into the room, I turned and shut the door.Bruce acknowledged this and he formed a smile on his face.I slowly went up to him and kissed him as passionately as I could, as he placed one hand on my waist and another in my hair.
I lead him back to the bed and pulled him on top of me as i started slowly taking my clothes off, however when i lifted my shirt up the scar of the bullet was there emotionally.Bruce saw me hesitate but then cleared my mind with kisses along my neck, as he knows that's my weakness.
..............
As I woke tiredly at 6am, I looked over to Bruce who was soundly asleep, I trailed my hand along his bare back, feeling the smoothness of his skin.I'm really going to miss this.
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Yasmin<3
