I got up weakly from the floor,what am I doing?I'm acting pathetic, I thought to myself.
Pulling myself together I stretched from the tense position and unlocked the bathroom door.I checked if there was anyone around.I wanted to go to the training room to try and clear my mind.
As I entered I noticed no one was there luckily.I went to my favourite equipment, the punching bag and started with some decent punches but then a wave of emotion flowed through my veins.I felt anger and rage.
I started hitting the punching as hard as i could over and over.Until it shortly split and i just changed it for a new one.I carried on with the same manner as all of the recent events flashed in front of my eyes.The death of my baby and Bucky's kiss it's all too much.
My knuckles were cut and bruised very badly but i didn't even realise, i didn't even care.I then heard someone enter the room. I quickly hid in the shadow as only the centre of the room was lit.It was Bucky.It was all his fault.
I watched him silently enter and find the blood stains on the punching bag and floor but his expression never changed.
"Natasha?"He asked.
Kill. That's what was flowing in my head.
As he searched around the room for me i took the opportunity as he turned his back, i launched at him with all i had.I was not holding back.I wrapped my legs quickly around his neck as i felt him tense up and i dropped him to the ground.However he escaped my grip and held me down instead and analysing my face full of blood, sweat and tears.
"Natasha stop!"He shouted.But I didn't listen.I launched at him again pinning him down instead.And then I got my knife out.It was his fault, it was all his fault, I repeated in my head.
"It's your fault"I said bringing my knife towards his throat but he caught it with his metal arm and threw me across the room, but i bounced back up and launched at him again.He read it and pinned me down again trying to calm me down.He then managed to take the knife off me and threw it across the room.
"No"I growled trying to escape his grip.
"Natasha stop",He shouted again.But that made me even more angry.
"My name isn't Natasha",I replied viciously.
"Nat please-"
I was quick to cut him off quickly as i kicked him in the ribs and releasing his grip on me.I then pinned him down straddling his hips as i punched him in the face with smears of my blood on his cheeks also.I beat him pretty badly as he tried to let me go but i wasn't holding back.I was sure any minute now he wouldn't be breathing.
The door burst open.Steve, Clint and Sam all entered the room and quickly saw what was going on.They were then shouting my name which i zoned out to, as i continued on completing my mission.However Steve and Clint pulled me off.
"No,"I growled.
Struggling I managed to escape their grip unexpectedly and got my knife from across the room.I then sensed someone else enter the room from behind me so i quickly got my knife to hand aimed to throw it at the person without hesitation.But i froze on the spot.It was Bruce.
I came back to reality.
I was about to turn around to see what I had done until I forcefully got tugged from behind me and slammed to the ground.Steve was staring above me angry at what I did to Bucky.But I just lay there in a haze and staring at nothing emotionlessly.
"I'm sorry"I then whispered and brought my special knife over my heart and closed my eyes.I drove it to my chest until my hand stopped and Steve had caught it and immediately threw the knife across the room.
"No"I said quick to move but Steve pinned me down again.I then lay and closed my eyes acting like i had given up, he loosened his grip so i took that opportunity. I wrapped my legs around him, slamming him down and making my way back towards the knife.I picked it up quickly and once again held it to my chest.I then quickly looked up and there everyone was standing watching me, even Bucky got up.
"Natasha,"Steve said, walking towards me.
"Don't move"I shouted holding the knife even closer.He then froze to the spot.
"Nat please"Bruce said nearly breaking down.His face made me break down.
"I'm sorry"I said painfully with tears streaming down my cheeks.
BANG.
A gunshot echoed in the room and I froze.
I fell to the ground as Bucky fired his gun which made me shake and drop my knife.The shot didn't hit me it was there to scare me.And it worked.
I curled up in a ball and I started crying, no...weeping, continually saying "I'm sorry...I'm sorry".
Bruce quickly ran up to me and held me replying "It's ok",whilst stroking my hair.I didn't know what to reply. All I cared about was Bruce and how he couldn't live without me.
I can't live without him.
I closed my eyes whilst burying my head in Bruce's chest as now I felt the sting of my knuckles.But the pain was drained out by the security of Bruce.I don't deserve him.
I got back up embarrassed with what I had just done. Limping over to try and sorry to Bucky he took a step back away fearfully from me so i just nodded my head and walked away back to my room.
As soon as i entered i knew what i wanted to do.I took my handcuffs and attached it to my bed therefore i can never hurt anyone again.
Bruce then entered my room nervously and came straight over to where I was sitting.
"Natasha, where's the key?"He asked looking around.
"No, i can't be trusted,"I replied with a small tear rolling down my cheek.
"Please i can help you, you don't need to do this"
"I almost killed him Bruce...just imagine what would have happened if i did. One day i could end up killing you, i'm too dangerous".I said trying to not meet eye contact with him.
"Natasha, you would never hurt me".He replied.
"Mhm"I said resting my head on his chest.
"So where's the key?"He asked.
"....In my bra"I laughed.
His cheeks went red and replied "Can you get it then?".
"No"I smirked.
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Thank you for reading :)
Comment your thoughts!
I know it's Mark and Scarlett's birthday today i'm so happy but i promise i'll try and post another chapter tonight with some fluff :)
Yasmin<3
