The Golden Heart (Yuno Grinberryall x reader)

Chapter 16 - I'm sorry

Y/n's POV

I'm so tired

I must have been running for about hours. I managed to stop crying, yet the ache in my heart still lays wake. It's my own fault though, I never should have come here, I never should have let myself go to Golden Dawn, I should have stayed home and awaited my death

After all, this hurts more than death ever would.

I find myself walking in a straight line, completely unaware of where I was going. Dozens of thoughts flooded my mind but a loud sound snaps me out of my daze. My head snaps up and I'm treated with an area full of rubble.

'This is...the dungeon from the first mission'

I let out a breath, dropping to my knees, the exhaustion starting to get to me. My hands grip the dirt underneath me and I grit my teeth

'Don't start crying again! Don't do it...'

Unfortunately, giving yourself a pep talk internally does nothing. Mimosa's smile fills my head, the memories of the nights we'd talk in either my room or hers, when she helped me get ready for my date with Yuno, she was my first friend here...she's...my best friend. I never thought I'd get to say I have a best friend. Captain Vangeance, he took me into his squad with no question and was willing to lie for me. Captain Yami, he didn't even know me, but he agreed to train me. Noelle, Asta, Vanessa....Yuno most of all,

The way he smiled with me. Even though it was small, his warm smile always made me smile. He let me in and let me laugh with him, let me love him.

And now all because of the mistakes that I have made, he's not here with me. He's gone, and so is everyone else.

"You're so stupid Y/n" I croak out as tears start to pour again

Why was I cursed with this power? Why didn't I die with my family that night?

"Why isn't anyone here to help me? Please...someone, anyone...guide me"

As if on queue, my grimoire flies out from its pocket, opening above me. Everything around me disappears, a green light shooting out from the now open pages. It swims through the air, then around me, before exploding a few feet away, causing me to cover my eyes to block the light. Removing my hands, I squint my eyes, then I am greeted with a tall women, dressed a white dress with long black hair and emerald eyes.

"Greetings" She speaks, the green aura surrounding her. "Do you know who I am?"

"Not a clue"

She nods walking up to me, then extending her hand for me to take it. "I was the first holder of the Golden Heart Grimoire, 1000 years ago."

My eyes widen and I let out a shaky breath. The first holder?

"I imagine you have questions?"

I let out a light laugh. "A lot"

She moves her hands, motioning for me to continue. "How...was it? I mean...did you have a lot of trouble?"

"Trouble?" She stops to think for a minute, then makes eye contact again. "Yeah. A lot of trouble actually"

"How did you do it? Get through it I mean"

She sighs. "Y/n, I've been watching you this whole time. The reason I'm here is because you asked for me. I know what you're going through, and you're pulling through just fine. You don't need my help"

"Just fine? My life is a mess. My family- well my fake family is dead, someone is coming to kill me, and I just lost everyone that I cared about because I tried to keep them safe! Tell me how I'm 'just fine'"