Tales of Another Broken Home

[23]- I'd like that...alot

It was the last week of school, well, until the holidays. It had been a week since I had the dream about Tyler, and I hadn't had it since. Every night I sat in bed and I thought. Just about memories and how they can impact someone. 

"I dare you!" Tyler told me. At this point, I knew there was no going back. "Fine, I'll do it if you do" I replied back. I looked over at my brother. He was in a Ash costume, and I being his twin, decided it would only be right to go as pikachu. "It's only down the hill right? Then it's done" I asked. Tyler nodded as he put himself on his bike and clenched the handle's. "Okay here's a deal. First one down to the bottom wins all the good candy that we get tonight for halloween" Tyler told me. He spat into his hand and held it out. "Fine, but I'm not shaking your hand". Tyler wiped his hand on his shirt. I got ready to go down the steep hill on my bike. "Ready?" I asked "GO!". We raced down the hill, going faster and faster with each blase of grass we ran over. We were almost at the end of the hill when Tyler lost contol and ran into my bike, causing us to both go flying over the handle bars and landing on eachother. We laughed hysterically. "I won that one" Tyler said. "No you didn't!" I replied "We both won. We will split the candy, we do that every year anyway".

I looked out the window, back in the right time. I put on my hoodie and went downstairs. "I'm ready" I said to Billie. "Okay" He said "Jakob? C'mon lets go". Jakob came down the stairs. We all got into the car to go to school. I had my speech in my hands ready for the 'What does it mean to loose a loved one" speech. Pretty good timing right?

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"Dakota? Would you like to say your speech now?" The teacher asked as the last person sat down at their desk. I got up and walked over to the front of the class room.

"Good morning. I'm Dakota, and today I'm gonna share with you a hell of a journey" I said "It's hard to believe but just over a month and a half ago, I was living in New York, in a small apartment with my twin brother. I like to still think of myself as a twin, not someone wo used to be a twin." I looked up, most of the people where not paying attetion which I didn't mind "When my brother died, it felt like the end of the world. It felt like everything was beginning to crumble beneath me all of a sudden and I didn't have my brother there to keep me up. When someone looses a loved one, it is hard to put what it feels like into words. You feel like you are stuck in a hurricane of emotions, and right when you start to accept it, and everything seems a little bit better than how it began, it comes back even stronger and it hits you ten times harder" I looked up again, and people were actually paying attention this time. "I remember a saying, death ends a life, and not a relationship. This is true. I still see Tyler as my brother. I don't see him as a memory, but nothing in the entire universe can replace something that you loved so much. The impact and meaning of loosing someone so special to you can be devestating. It tears you apart every day. It's kind of amazing the things you realise after you loose someone close to you. You think of all the things that you wnated to say, all the things you wanted to do, the things that you shouldn't of done and the thing's that you shouldn't of said" At this point, everyone was watching. "You can listen to someone talking about loosing someone they loved, you can sit a funeral of someone you never met, you can watch the news about a person who died, but nothing will ever prepare you of someone that you love dying. The grief that you are left with hurts. It's hard to escape because you know what would hurt you the most, and thats all you think about. But why do we grow attached? Because nothing is ever built to stay with us forever. You can expect a death, you can now that it will happen, but when it does, you are struck with grief. A grief pulls you down and keeps you down. You never realise how special someone really is to you until it is too late. And that is what its means to loose a loved one. It means going through hell and walking over broken glass, but then there comes a point, where you start to think about the good times, not the bad, and you realise that things may be gone, but they stay in you forever, in your heart". I sat over at my desk.

"Bravo!" The teacher clapped "That was exellect Dakota"

"Thanks" I said. One of the girls in the back row was wiping a tear away from her eye. Then after about  8 more speeches, the bell rang. 

"Hey DK" Jakob said as we waited in line at the cafeteria.

"Hey" I replied as I put a cup of jelly onto my tray and moved along "So, only like one more day left then"

"Yeah, it went quick, are you excited for the tour?"

"Yeah. Nervous, but y'know, I'm really looking forward to it"

"It's awesome, trust me". We walked over and sat on the table. Hunter and Devyn where engrossed in a argument about what the best part of the last episode of Game of Thrones was, so we decided to stay out of it and talk about other stuff. We finshed our lunch and continued our school day. Nothing really happened for the rest of the day, seeing it was the end of school and we had already done all the work.

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Billie had invited me down to have a meeting on the couch in the living room. 

"When we go to New York in a few days, we want to know if you would like to do anything for Tyler"

"Like what"

"Well we were thinking that maybe we could do a memorial of some sort for him, and you can gather all your friends" Adrienne suggested as she sat down next to Billie.

"Yeah. That would be good, i'd like that"

"How about you pick a song? We can put together a video since you never got the oppourtunity to say a proper goodbye to him"

"Thanks. I'll get some photo's right away". I was really happy that I got to do this, seeing that Mum wouldn't pay for the funeral. I opened my laptop and searched up a song that I knew Tyler would of loved to have. I chose "Mad World'. I remember that Tyler told me if he was ever to die first, to play that song, because it reminded him of me. I put together some photo's of Tyler together.

There was one where he was riding on his bike, one where he was busking, one where he was skateboarding and then lots of ones of both of us. At the end of the video, I put a video of him singing 'Time of your life'. He was singing it in the subway for some money for the concert, and he made me record it so that if we ever got to meet Green Day, they would see him play. I looked at the time. Eleven pm. I closed my latop and went to bed. Maybe this memorial will help me start to remember Tyler in a better way?