Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

Taking A Knee

Jazmyn

One thing I will say I enjoyed about being a solider was the ability to live in this world, and not know the true horrors that happens in it. Which is crazy because I was getting bombed and shot at on a day to day basis and things back home were getting bad all on their own. You're so wrapped up in your own fight, you're oblivious to the things happening outside of your little bubble. You're not thinking about the little things when you've been stuck in a bunker for a month. All of that stuff that happens back here in the states is irrelevant compared to what you're trying to do in the moment.

But some moments break that barrier and leak into your mind. Like the Trayvon Martin murder, I heard about that when I was in Pakistan fighting a whole different war. Not knowing that the greatest threat to this nation... is already here.

This morning I woke up and got on my phone like always. It's the end of May and besides covid not much was happening. People are still quarantined to their houses unless they're essential workers. So most everyone sits on their phones and goes through the events of the news through social media.

But I'm wasn't prepared for what I was about to see. Something that made this army soldiers stomach do flips until I almost throw up.

The George Floyd video has to be one of the most sickening things I have ever seen. A man hand cuffed and not resisting being held down by the weight of a man with his knee to his neck. George sitting there begging to be able to breathe. Something no person should ever have to ask for their right to do. As people begged the police officer to get up he continued to sit there taking this mans life with every passing second.

I tried to get away from the video but it was everywhere. It was in every social media app, every news room. It was everywhere and I couldn't escape it.

And I shouldn't escape it.

Because this was our reality. This wasn't the first black man to die on the streets at the hands of cops, and I know it won't be the last one either. Even in a global pandemic the system proves to be broken. This nation I love once again proved to be broken.

"Hey" a soft voice says and I jump a little as Anthony lets himself in. I spent the whole morning in my bed crying trying to understand why this is happening and why we haven't done anything to protect these people. I've missed out on a lot while I was over seas but I haven't seen one plan or promise to stop things like this from happening again. It's like a broken record.

"Hey" I reply as I wipe away some tears.

"What's going on" he asks cautiously as he sits down next to me. With me it can be any number of different things so it's not his fault for knowing which reason I'm a mess right now.

"Have you seen this video" I ask him as I hold up my phone.

He takes my phone and shakes his head before pressing play. He watches the video with the audio and I swear my heart breaks again and again. Each word he spoke was closer to the last one he would ever say. That man will die there on the street for the whole nation to see. The whole world, really.

"Oh my god" Anthony gasps as he sets the phone down. He covers his mouth with his hand as he just stares off into the middle of nowhere. "I don't even know what to say" he admits.

"What is there to say? This keeps happening and it's going to keep happening until someone does something. I don't care what that man did he didn't deserve to die like that, and not in front of the world.

The last person to publicly kneel got kicked out of the NFL and now this cop is kneeling on the neck of a unarmed black man. People still don't get it" I sigh.

"As a solider doesn't it piss you off when people kneel during the national anthem" he asks me. And honestly that wasn't a awful question, I've gotten it a few times before.

"As a citizen of the United States doesn't it piss you off to see a man murdered in cold blood on the street and people still have the nerve to defend the police officers actions" I counter. "This was never about the flag Anthony. Kapernick said that but people didn't want to listen. It was a solider who suggested that he did that. Colin still wanted to be there for the anthem, but to let people know that this flag he currently stands under isn't all what it's supposed to be. He didn't want to stand for all his black brothers and sisters who can no longer stand because they've been killed at the hands of people who can't tell right from wrong in the heat of a moment.

This isn't about the flag, the flag is just a symbol of something much bigger. This was about the fact that black people feel like they can't take a stand so they take a knee. The kneeling is to raise awareness of the kinds of things black men and women go through every day" I say.

"But it's direspecting the people like you who fight for this country" he claims.

"No, what's disrespectful is me fighting over seas for the very freedoms that are being taken away from our own people back here. What's disrespectful is the fact that Mathew, a strong black soilder who would do anything for this country, who gave his life for this country, could have came back here once we were done fighting and had his life taken from the very system he fought to defend. Just because he was black.

I became a solider to protect people and keep this country safe. Right now it's not safe for people like George Floyd and that's a problem. A real problem. A flag can be made but nothing is going to bring that man back. I can spare flags but we can't spare lives. He didn't have to be a model citizen to have a right to live. He had a daughter who now has to know a life without her father. He was accused of using counterfeit money... since when was that a death sentence? How many more black people have to die in the streets, in their own homes before we realize that the kneeling isn't about us. This is about them and protecting them and helping them" I explain.

"But what can we do? People have been trying for change for years and nothing is happening. What can we do" he asks again.

"Fight for them. Raise awareness, support the movement while being a part of the moments. We have a lot of say in this world, you and me. This is bigger than anything we could ever imagine. There's never a good time to do what right. It's all the time" I insist.

"I want to help, I want to be a part of the solution" he insists.

"The first step is to educate yourself. You can have these mixed feelings but you need to open your eyes. See what's going on around you and decide whether you want to stand up and yell for those who have no voice, or stay silent and aid the oppressors. Know that people who don't want to change, they don't want to know the truth. And they'll see you as the bad guy for saying that black lives matter. But also know that doing what's right isn't doing what's easy. But change starts with you" I insist.

"I want to be better" he insists.

"I know" I say as I cup his cheek. "I know."