Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

Stable

Jazmyn

When I was a little girl I used to work out just for fun. Crazy, I know, but I loved it. The physical and mental challenges of being fit was a game for me and I loved to win. I had abs by the time I was 6 and could do pull ups at the park during recess in grade school. I had five brothers so part of my physical strength was self defense, the other part was trying to be in the best physical shape I could possibly be in.

Maybe a child shouldn't be worried about their physical physique, but it meant a lot to me. If I was physically strong I felt mentally strong too. So I was able to do more than most girls could do, especially coming in at a whopping five feet five inches since the 10th grade. And that's not short for a woman but for a army solider it makes things a bit harder. It also gave me to motivation to work harder too.

And now I get to train a professional athlete in the middle of this pandemic. Kind of crazy to think about how this is how I'm spending my years of training but this beats calling my family yet again.

"Alright, how are we starting" Anthony asks as he puts his hands in his hips. He had on a fitted shirt and Nike shorts all ready to go. I turned my spare room into a workout room which was actually coming in handy despite what my mom thought when I moved in here not that long ago.

"That depends, what do you want to focus on? There's cardio, muscle insurance, agility, flexibility, muscle building, muscle strengthening" I list off.

"Honestly I need to work on all of that" he claims making me chuckle.

"Alright" I nod, "let's start off with agility. That is a testament to athleticism so it should help a lot with the rest of the stuff too" I admit.

"Sounds good to me" he admits.

So I set up a bunch of agility drills in the open part of the room. It was a lot of balance and paths and using your brain as much as your feet. I place the cones where they're need to be and explain what to do with each one. Basically it was the quickest and easiest way to get from one point to another. Then we do the same course with one foot and the other one and backwards. Any way to increase the thought process and getting your body to follow suit.

"Why is this so hard" Anthony asks as he leans over with his hands on his knees. He starts panting a little and it was kind of cute.

"Your body has been doing the same thing for years, now you're trying to train it to do something different than what it's used to. It's going to be hard" I assure him.

"And you're sure this will help me? Because right now the only thing I feel is sore" he claims.

"As a baseball player you need agility to adjust to certain situations. Take stealing a base for example. It's a lot of back and fourth and twisting and turning. Agility focuses on on your path to the next base, the best way to out think and out maneuver the other other team. Or with playing first base you need to know where to play the ball and the paths go take back to base. You have to be able to react to a ball coming at you over a hundred miles per hour. That's not a lot of time. Agility makes the game you play a little more accuracy while keeping you in shape" I explain.

"Well when you put it that way" he teases. 

"Lets do a little more agility and then some strengthening and we'll be done for today" I insist.

"If I make it that far" he scoffs.

Thirty minutes later we were done and this poor man was dying. For a professional athlete he sure had it rough. Then again he hasn't played or worked out for about two weeks now so I'm sure it was a bit of a struggle for him.

Once we were finished I put up the things I used today and he collapses on my couch. He lets out a long groan as he grabs his legs. "I'm already sore" he pouts.

"So I'm guessing we're not doing this again tomorrow" I tease as he laughs.

"Not at all. I'm going to need a few days before I do this again" he claims.

"How about I make us some dinner to make up for the fact that I almost killed you" I insist.

"What are you making" he asks as he lifts his head up. He looks at me waiting to see if this was sincere or not.

"I was thinking about stuffed pork chops and steamed veggies" I admit.

"No wonder you're so fit. You eat like that and work out like that..." he trails off.

"I like to put good things in my body and make sure I'm in the best shape I can be" I defend.

"Well in that case I would love to stay for dinner" he smiles.

So he joins me in the kitchen as I pull out ingredients and pans I'll need. Anthony doesn't help for he hasn't had to make himself a meal in his life, but he keeps me company as I make our food. He asks a million questions like always and I try my best to answer him. It's not like I had anything else to do right now anyway.

"You cook, you are independent, you can fight and create and rock a army uniform or a dress, what can't you do" he asks me.

My smile falls from my face as I look down at the pan I was using. I slowly push the food around as my mind does too much. "I can't let go" I confess. I feel his eyes start to pierce me as he waits for me to explain myself, but I never do.

"What do you mean" he finally questions.

"I lie awake at night trying to forget, to let go of these things in my mind. Let go of these heavy feelings that's pulling me down. But I hold on to everything, even if it's bad, because I only know of the life I lived and I'm afraid of change. I might be away from the fighting and the pain but there's no place I can go where the memories won't follow. Even if I wanted to get rid of them I couldn't. It's like a broken record where it's constant fear and confusion. I wanted to let it all go but I couldn't, I can't" I sigh.

I feel Anthony's finger under my chin as he pulls it up. My eyes meet his as mine get watery. "I'm sorry" he says.

"For what" I question.

"I look at you, how beautiful you are and how strong you are and assume it was easy for you to be this way. That you have it so good. I shouldn't assume these things because they look one way but happen another way" he says.

"I don't want you feeling sorry for me. I wanted to fight, I have to deal with everything that comes with it" I insist.

"Is there anything I can do to help" he wonders. His big brown eyes begging for me to give him some kind of sign.

"You being here means a lot to me. I've lived a unpredictable life for the past 13 years. It's nice to have something... stable" I admit.

"And you still don't know if you want to stay here" he accuses.

"It's been two weeks and we're in the middle of a pandemic, I'm not sure a decision on my future is what needs to happen right now. Plus I'm a army girl, I'm not supposed to stay" I remind him.

"I hope you do" he claims making me blush.

"Why do you want me to stay" I ask him.

"Who else will train me" he smirks as I roll my eyes.

"You have people for that" I remind him.

"But I want you" he insists.