Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

To My Love

Jazmyn

The water finally leaves the inner city and the people of the city were free to return to their homes. Now comes the really really hard part of helping people pick up what of their belongings they were able to save and see what's left. Keep what they can save and throw away all they can't.

I ditch the crutches and head to a neighborhood that was hit pretty hard. I help un board windows and clean out the drains so the rest of the water could leave. The city was still out of power, a week after the fact. So we couldn't be out here forever. Some families will stay and buy their own generators and some will head back to the shelter until they can find a dry bed and some warm food until things are back to normal.

We spend 12 hours out there before heading back to out shelter. It was a long day that was very mentally draining as well as it was physically draining. You can hear people crying from blocks away, people calling for their animals who didn't make it to the shelter with them. You see pictures shattered on the road and it breaks your heart. I adore my pictures more than a lot of things in my life, and I know other people do too. When it comes to things like Mathew and my army days, that's all I have left to remember my past. What I had been through to get where I am today. The water had already taken so many physical things for them, I don't want the memories to go too.

I get back to my little cot I had been sleeping in that's reminded me a lot of fighting over seas. I really didn't mind, I had my own little corner set up and I put up the pictures Anthony had sent me to make this place feel a little more like home. It kinda felt like all I had right now.

I decide to pull out some paper and a pen and write to Anthony. Hopefully the next time I hear from him I'll be able to at least call him, but for now I'm gonna do something I've done so many times before and write to him.

To my love, Anthony

When I was a little girl growing up in Kentucky I always knew I wanted to help people. I wasn't like the other girls, but you grow up with five older brothers you really can't be like the other girls. I wanted to go hunting with them and I liked sports and wrestling with my siblings. And while most girls wanted to go into nursing or teaching in order to help other people, I always knew the army was where I wanted to be.

Little did I know that the facade I fell for was more than disappointing. My parents both served and tried to warn me that the real reason we honor veterans is because a lot of times they're just being used to solve America's problems or fix it's ego, but I didn't care. I went anyway.

But I feel like I've done for my country here than I ever did fighting the people we deemed as terrorists. I can actually meet the people I fight for, and it makes it worth all the while. What I would do to go back and move to Chicago when I was 18 and just start here. Yes I've done important tasks over seas, I've learned things few people in this world knows and that's pretty cool. I even got to hang out with president Obama and meet his dogs.

But I would trade it all to have been able to help within this country and if that means I would have been able to meet you sooner, to have more time with you before I had to run off again.

As I sit here in the dark with nothing but the little lantern they gave me everyone else sleeps my mind can't help but think of you. You know me, I don't sleep well. And it's not the cot or the cool draft, it's something that is in my head that keeps me awake. And whenever I am my mind always seems to go to you. Hoping that you had a good day despite us not being able to talk.

One of the things I love most about you is that fact we could always talk. About anything. You always made it so interesting and fun and I haven't been able to find that kind of laughter in my life. There's not much to laugh about here but you made the pandemic seem like some of the best times of my life. The people down here could use someone like you. I... I can use someone like you right about now.

I hope you're keeping safe in the city. I haven't heard about any protests and things like that but I hope the city is still marching, still fighting for what's right. My leg is getting a lot better. I didn't even use my crutches today although I'm feeling it now. But it's hard to see my pain when I see the pain of everyone around me first. And it's a lot. I know I can be strong but I'm not sure if I can be this strong.

Anyways, as I lie awake I was thinking about how when I was a little girl I didn't have the dreams of getting married and all of that stuff like most little girls do. I didn't want "it all" as my friends say. The super hot husband, 2.5 kids and a country style house with a front porch and a pool out back. They had their whole lives planned out to the t and I just wanted to help people any way I can. My future was never about me it was about other people.

For the first time in my life I'm ready for a future that I cannot control. A future where it's not just me, it's you and me. I can see us being happy together for the rest of our time. If anything this has taught me that I finally have a home in you and I should worship every second I get to spend with you. Because the seconds I have had to spend without you feels like I'm falling, ever so slowly, never knowing when I'll hit rock bottom. I feel like everything is moving around me but I'm lost without you. You're the stars in my sky showing me where I need to go, and inspiring me to be who I want to be. One day I hope to be your wife, mother to your children, the reason you believe in love. Whatever form our love takes I can't wait to see it.

Yours truly,
Jazmyn.