Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

All My Heart

Anthony

After Jazz ships out I keep a careful eye on the hurricane. The rain waters were at a dangerously high level and was to come through tonight and tomorrow morning. They were expecting four feet of water within just hours of the storm coming through. Jazmyn was going to be at a shelter they created where people defected to because staying home wasn't safe but they didn't have anywhere else to go. As if the storm wasn't enough to worry about the fact that so many people was going to be in such a small space made the covid concerns that much worse. Especially in parts of Florida where they don't take these things that seriously.

But she called me when she touched down and we've talked a few times since then. They called people from all over the country to help give aid and watch over the people down there. Their national guard has already been sand bagging and boarding up businesses for a few days. Now they had some backup to help save as many lives as possible.

So I sit in the clubhouse with the news on the big tv. I watch the weather channel as they track and try and predict this terrible storm. They have it at a category 2 and winds over 100 mph hitting the shores early tomorrow morning. They were planning to be without power for a while so I won't even be able to talk to her or know if she's okay as early as tomorrow. And that scared the hell out of me.

I know families do these kinds of things all the time. They send their mother or brother or husband or cousin out into a war and they don't know if or when they're coming back. I admire those people who are strong enough to let them go, I'm just not sure I'm one of those people.

"Hey man" someone says as I get snapped out of my trance. I look up and see Jason Kipnis standing there looking at me with sad eyes.

"Hey" I say with a sad smile.

"You shouldn't watch that, it's only going to make it worse" he claims.

"It's the only thing keeping me sane. Knowing that people have their eyes on her, that if it gets bad they'll tell me what's going on. It's like if she was in the hospital and her monitor was going off. The sound of it would drive me insane, but it's also the exact thing assuring me she is still here" I explain.

"I get it" he nods as he sits down next to me. "How are you? And don't feed me "I'll be fine" Bull shit. I know you will be, but I want to know how you're doing right now."

"It's hard" I sigh. "I know she has a duty to be out there saving people. I know she feels like she still has to fight. But I thought she had changed... I thought she was staying" I whisper.

"You don't trust her" he accuses.

"I absolutely do" I scoff.

"No, Anthony, you don't. Or at least you're not right now" he accuses.

"I would trust her with my life" I defend.

"But you have to trust her to make the right decisions. You think she is making a bad decision and you don't trust that she is doing the right thing" he says.

I go to argue but I stop myself. As his words soak in I feel my heart drop. He was right, I trusted her to love me and to do a lot of things, but not to make these kind of decisions. I didn't trust her to know her limits and when to stop.

"God I am a awful military boyfriend" I mumble as I throw my face in my hands. I feel Jason start to rub my back and it did help a little.

"You're not. You just have to learn to let go. To trust that the things you have no control over will be what you need even when it's not what you want.

Jazz is strong, stronger than any athlete or politician or anything. She's been through hell and back three times over, this is nothing for her. Even with her wound she's the woman this country needs, everyone knows it. You have to trust her to know what to do when times get hard. I truly believe she knows better than anyone what it takes to save lives and keep her own life on track.

Let go" he insists.

"You're right" I groan. "I just... sometimes she's too strong, you know? Her last partner ran into a war zone to save people and never came back out. No one is there to stop her this time" I explain.

"You are. And not there physically, but she knows she has to come back to you. You are what's stopping her from doing stuff like that" he promises.

"I guess you're right" I admit as I sit back up. "I just hope that she is safe and she is happy."

"She's helping people, that makes her happy. As baseball is your higher calling this is hers. And you know as well as anyone no one can stop a strong minded person who has her mind made up" he insists.

"Thank you" I say as I turn to him. "If you didn't come over and talk to me I would have been eaten alive by this. Thanks for not letting me hurt myself" I insist.

"Of course man. You're a big reason I came to this team. I wanted a chance to win and I wanted to play with the guys who I know would fight for me. From the start you were my friend, and you are the reason I got to live out the dream of playing for my home town. Dreams can be tricky, a lot of times what we wish for, what we hope for never comes and it hurts. But even if we leave here without a ring, this will be the best season of my life. I have a lifelong friend in you that goes past this game we play.

But I still want a ring. You took it from me in 2016 so you owe me" he teases.

"I'll do my best" I assure him.

We win the game by a thin margin but a win is a win. We fought to the end and we add on to our lead in the central division. Once we were done I go to my locker and check up on the hurricane. It was starting to come in and everything was on lock down so I call Jazz. She picks up quickly and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey baby, it's good to hear from you" I insist.

"You too. I had to fight a few people to play your game on the tv but I think you made some new fans down here" she claims and I smile.

"Well that's good to hear. How is everyone holding up" I wonder.

"They're scared, I am too. We can hear the winds picking up and a lot of people don't know if they're going to have a home to back to. I'm just trying to keep people positive and their mind off of all of this" she explains.

"Well you're the person that can do it" I assure her.

"I don't know, I'm no match for a hurricane" she admits.

"I believe in you. I believe in who you are and what you do. I know you can do this" I claim.

"Do you really mean that" she questions.

"With all my heart" I smirk.

"Well thank you Sweetie. I love you so much" she claims.

"I love you most" I insist.