Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

The Price Of Freedom

Jazmyn

There's a point in everyone's lives where the scale between order and chaos tips one way or another. As someone who has looked death in the eyes way too many times, I know when it's gone too far to the chaos side. Because usually you're dead by the time that side gets too heavy and hits the ground. But until you're dead you are left making decisions that goes on one side of a scale tipping it in a direction. And every little thing adds up.

Up until recently it was pretty okay for your scale to be even. Everyone had opinions but never has anyone had to outright defend themselves. There was always room for it to go one way or another and that was fine.

Times are different now, and it's not even a matter of political pursuit at this point. It was a matter of moral compass and belief systems that was causing the scales to start tipping.

After Jacob Blake was shot seven times in the back in broad daylight the nation was once again in unrest. Still mourning the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, the black lives matter movement took to the streets again to make sure they're still being heard. This time around the come out with more force and more support than ever. The NHL and the NBA all boycotted their playoff games in a stand for justice. Many MLB teams and players didn't play to stand up for those who can't anymore. Anthony was going to sit out with his buddy Jason, but Jason wanted him to play. The guys were ready to sit out but Jason insisted they played for Jacob while he sat out for him.

The scale was tipping more and more these days with people finally speaking out and having the courage to say that what's happening isn't right. And while we love to give our attention to looters and dig up everything wrong with the people who are being killed, I like to focus on the bigger picture. I like to defend more than I like to attack.

So I decided I wanted to be a part of the movement. I of course supported it from the start, but I haven't been out on the front lines. I know they were going to have a heavy national guard presence in the opposing side, it's what they talk about most now a days in office. And we all have choices, we decide what side of the scale we put our grain of rice. And I was ready to tip mine again.

"Baby, I really thing that this is a bad idea" Anthony tries as he paces the floor of our bedroom. He was worried, I can tell, but I can't let that stop me.

"How is doing the right thing a bad idea" I argue.

"It's not. But how you go about doing it is a different story. There's a curfew and they have the national guard out there with orders to do whatever it takes to maintain the peace" he lists off.

"I'm not going to be looting or near anyone who is. I am doing nothing wrong so I should be fine" I remind him.

"Right and wrong in war doesn't matter. You told me that" he argues.

"Exactly. No matter what I do lives are at stake. So I might as well do the right thing" I say.

He stops pacing as he lets out a long sigh. "I know better than to try and convince you otherwise. And I shouldn't stop you from being a good person. I know you're doing what's right and I shouldn't be the thing standing in the way. But please, be careful. If you leave and you don't come back I will surely lose my mind" he insists.

"I'll always come back to you" I promise as I cup his cheeks. He gives me a unsure smile as I kiss his nose. "I'll be back before you even know I'm gone."

So I change into all black and I meet downtown where a crowd was gathering. We all have our masks on and signs we made as we get ready to walk the streets. There was no looting and rioting, just a passionate group of people ready to continue to change history as we know it. People of all different backgrounds come together to try and force more scales to tip.

It starts to get late and there was no problems all evening really. It got intense at times as protestors met face to face with the so called peace keepers, but no one crossed the line. As it nears midnight I decide it was about time to go back before things got out of hand. We ended the protest near a gas station and there was whispers some people were going to start rioting and that's when I was going to leave. But eventually the whispers starts to turn into shouting and immediately I felt like something was wrong. The shouts turns into screams of terror, a sound I knew all too well. I look around and people start to scatter in different directions running away from someone.

"He's got a gun! That kids got a gun" someone screams causing more chaos. My senses kick in and I start to look around for the source of the fear.

The next second I hear gunshots and I jump into military mode. People all run from one location so I knew that's where the shooter had to be. So I run towards them as the screams and cries get louder. A few more rounds go off and people start to hit the ground. You never forget that sound no matter what you learn. I see a few bodies on the ground and I knew that this had the capability of turning into a slaughter very fast.

I find a kid walking around just firing his gun into the crowd. The police were over there chasing the people running away as this kid starts to unload. The police didn't even give him a glance as he just walks around releasing hell into the street.

So I do what I was trained to do. Locate, disarm, and tend to our fallen soldiers.

I run up to the kid as he was preoccupied elsewhere at first. But right before I get to him he takes a shot at me. It was too late as I was still able to tackle him to the ground knocking his weapon away. I get his gun and disarm it before tossing it to the side where he wouldn't be able to reach it. I roll the guy over as hold his hands behind his back. Someone comes over and helps me in safely making sure this kid can't do any more damage.

"Mam, you're bleeding" someone says with a worried expression on his face.

I look down and I see a hole in my leg losing a lot of blood. "Shit" I mumble as I get up off the kid. He tries to get away but someone chases after him and gets him down again.

I realize I was losing too much blood so I try to make my own bandage to slow down the bleeding. I find a stick and random shirt and fix up my leg. The bullet didn't go all the way through but I couldn't exactly find the bullet in there either.

The flashing lights arrive and I know what happens next. A few people come over and help me up. I look around to see so much chaos. I've seen it over seas, but I never thought this would happen in America. I never thought that situations could be handled so awfully. That kid walked around for a while with that gun and no one stopped him. The police let him be the judge, jury and executioner in something that he has no say over. That kids rights isn't the one at stake here so I'm not sure why he came, or what he was planning to do.

All I know is that we pay the price for our freedoms and I was paying the price.