Through Thick and Thin (Anthony Rizzo)

Far Away

Anthony

We were in Pittsburg for a four game series before we were back in Chicago to take on the White Sox to end our short season. I'm not going to lie, we might have had 100 less games than usual but this season was twice as exhausting. The amount of things we had to go through in order to even step out on the field is insane, there being 60 games in 66 days didn't help either. All the makeup games and travel really wears on you and we were tired. Especially being on this long strand of away games to end the season. Luckily for us our last series will still be in Chicago and if we're lucky we will start the post season there for the wild card series. Until then we had to push through this lull and make the best of what was going on for us.

"Look at you" Jazz coo's as we sit on FaceTime. I was cuddled up in hotel bed with the teddy bear she gave me sitting on my chest. I had on the fluffy robe I found and was ready to turn in after a pretty bad game here.

"At least the hotel beds are comfy considering we're not allowed to leave" I admit.

"If you could go anywhere in Pittsburg right now where would you be" she wonders.

"Somewhere with a good view of the sky, thinking of you" I insist.

"Awww, we sound like a old married couple" she teases.

"We could honestly pass as a old married couple" I admit. Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever.

"I can't wait until we are. We have our recliners side by side as we watch Disney plus for the rest of our days. No war or baseball, just two old geezers doing their best to help as many people as they can" she explains.

I just smile as I let out a soft sigh. She lights up as she talked about this and it made me feel wanted. It made me feel like she was speaking from experience, like she knows exactly where we will end up.

"What are your plans for the holidays" I wonder trying to think of the near future instead of the distant one. October started the holiday season and this is the first time in a really long time she will be in the states for one, let alone them all.

"I was planning on being with my family for thanksgiving but for Christmas I haven't made plans yet. The boys usually all do things with their families so I'm pretty much free" she shrugs.

"The boys? They're all older than you" I laugh.

"Only in age" she smirks.

"Well if it's okay with you I would like to join you and your family for thanksgiving. I haven't seen your family in a little and I kinda miss them" I admit.

"You do" she questions, almost like she didn't believe me.

"I really do. They're all really funny and they have the best stories about you. I love hearing about you before I was in your life. In a way you're exactly the same because you've always been true to yourself. But I love hearing how you got to be this way" I insist.

"Well we would go home to Lexington for Thanksgiving and that's where all the scrap books are" she assures me.

"I can't wait" I insist.

We talk for a little while before she had to go save the world again. So I let her go and decide to wind down for the night. I listen to some music and scroll through my phone. I was more than excited to go to Kentucky for thanksgiving and I had to think about what to do for Christmas. I wanted these last few months to be better than the first ones this year. I didn't want my whole year to be a total bust, so I sat and thought about what to do.

"This time, this place misused, mistakes
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along and I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."

As I try and think I can't help but to think about Jazmyn. Because everything good about this year, it was with her or because of her, and everything I plan for the future I want her by my side. And I know it's crazy to think about marriage after just half a year of knowing each other but I feel like my life just started when she came into it. So in a way it's been forever I've known her.

And marriage isn't the answer to everything, especially in times like this where having a wedding is nearly impossible. But if this year has taught me anything it that nothing is promised, not even baseball. And love is something to take a chance on regardless of what is promised to me. Even if it's a big leap like proposing so soon. But if you know, you know. And I know she is the one for me.

"On my knees I'll ask, "Last chance for one last dance?"
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know you know, you know

That I love you, I have loved you all along and I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

So far away, so far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away, so far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know."

As my thoughts turn into plans I try to figure out where to start. I can talk to her family at thanksgiving and get their blessing if her brothers don't try to kill me first. And I wanted the proposal to be special. The crossway of who she was and who she wanted to be. I wanted this all to be as special as she was. I didn't even know where to start with rings and plans and things. I just know this felt right, this felt real. I know asking her to marry me is something that will make 2020 a year that I didn't want to forget.

"I wanted, I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you (I love you), I have loved you all along
And I forgive you (and I forgive you), for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go

Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go."