Swell Guys One Shots

schlatt- hell no

Schlatts an uncle for those who didn't know.... So your going trick or treating with his nephew n neice I'm not sure the names ofc their children don't dox.

Sam- uhh uncle schlatt what time we going?

you- yea schlatt what time we going because Jess wants me to do her makeup

Jess- like a cat

you- me-ow

sam- y/n can you do my makeup? like the Hulk raaaasb

Jess- ahaha

schlatt- Sam stop scaring your sister

Sam- but it's Halloween your supposed to be scared raaaa

schlatt- I said stop sammi

you- j calm down ok look, kids me n schlatt are gunna make some quick sandwiches before we leave ham?

Jess- yes please

sam- and mayo

you- and mayo.

schlatt- I thought we were getting MacDonalds??

you- we are but look, schlatt what's up buddy you're kinda like angry

schlatt- I'm just- I guess i'm just stressed y/n I've never really liked Halloween or been trick or treating plus there are so young I don't want them getting hurt.

you- schlatt, we don't really have Halloween in the UK well England. I'm 20 and I've never been trick or treating my mum was so against Halloween and the season. I had to watch people around me grow up doing all this shit while I did nothing. these kids, look they've spent way too much time around us they pretty much are us at this point, Sam wants to grow out his chops anyway back to my point, these kids are gunna enjoy this and plus your big and strong and scary you'll protect them.

schlatt- your right I am big and strong.

you- well I guess in your James Charles merch right now you are big guy.

schlatt- fuck I'm ordering the maccas now I'm hungry

you- hahaha it's already ordered oh and I ordered some spooky cakes from another place idk when it's arriving.

jess- aunt y/n I'm hungry

Sami yea I'm hungry aswell

you- well, if you wait just ten more minutes Macdonald might turn up in a motorcycle.

Sam- hell yea Macdonalds

jess- uncle schlatt what are you dressed up as it's Halloween.

you- oh yea Jess I totally forgot about that- when you were recording the other day I took the kids out to Walmart and we got you a Halloween costume.

Sam- I picked it.

you- let me go get it hold up.

jess- uncle schlatt?

schlatt- yes Jess?

Jess- when am I going to have a cusion?

sam- Jess when the Uber driver brings a baby

jess- THREE MINUTES??

SCHLATT- no no no no he's just bringing us food. I'm not sure when your going to have cusions guys, all I know is that it's probably gunna be soon but shhhh don't tell y/n about it I want it to be a suprise.

you- what are you guys talking about I heard my name.

sam- nothing.

Jess- nope nothing. where's the costume??

you- ok schlatt close your eyes

jess- 3...2....1...

sam- turn around

schlatt- No. I'm not wearing that...

you- you have to Sam picked it out.

schlatt- that's it Sam I'm eating all your candy this year.

sam&jess- Trick or treat.

Ted- Jess! Sam! awe your guys are so good

Maddie- Jess I love your cat makeup

Jess- thank you y/n did it

ted- where are those guys huh?? .

sam- uncle schlatt is hiding.

Maddie- oh my god ted look behind the tree

Ted- schlatt omg you look so funny

jess- Sam picked it out.

you- I'm here two it was supposed to be a suprise...

god damn. I'm tired uwu.

I want to h*LD hands with schlatt omfg it's weird af. Recently I've been having dreams with schlatt in its so weird ok so here's one:

I was in class but we were in a car park and my teacher left? Schlatt was slouched behind me in the chair while I was drinking the lil like Jack Daniels bottles and he's like oh Ruby (that's me btw hi) I bet you can't drink the last one and I do it than he's like I love you so much and we start making out, my teacher comes back in and is like I brought more alcohol. Legit schlatt was just watching me cruh so much booze and was oogling at me...

It was so weird. And that's just the one I remember in full.