If There's a Lifetime (Completed)

The Beginning

I can do this! It’s been 8 years, Jane.

At least malalaman na niya yung tunay na nararamdaman ko, right?

I have been hiding my feelings since I was 15. I have tried numerous times to tell him how I truly feel for him. I love him not only as my best friend, but I love him more than that. Wala naman sigurong mawawala, ipapaalam ko lang naman. Because for sure, after this day, things would no longer be the same. Hindi ko na siya maaaya kung saan-saan and we’ll not be able to do what we used to do. For sure, mawawalan na siya ng oras sa’kin because his priority would be his wife. So…. there will be no regrets, Jane. No regrets!

I sighed several times before I knocked and opened the door of his hotel room.

“Hi, bes!” bati ko sa kanya after I opened the door sa room kung saan siya nagstay before the ceremony started. Good thing he was alone when I came in.

I tried my best to sound excited and cheerful and I guessed, effective naman.

“Bes...” he sounded off. He seemed not excited or probably, kinakabahan lang siya. This would be his last day as a single man na kasi. No more foodtrips and sudden galas, or maybe if meron man, kasama na niya ang asawa niya… at hindi ako.

“Excited ka na ba?” tanong ko.

He didn’t say a word. He was just looking at me intently and I couldn’t clearly say kung anong emotions ang pinapahiwatag ng mga mata niya.

“Ui okay ka lang ba?” I tried to be as calm as I could be. “May problema ba? Natatae ka? Kinakabahan? Or baka gusto mong umatras? Ano? Sabihin mo lang, bes, itatakas kita.” I joked and then I laughed loudly.

Ngumiti lang siya pero agad namang bumalik sa serious mode ang mukha niya. Anong problema nito?

I want to segue the seriousness that’s engulfing inside the room so I tried to lighten the mood.

“Uh… I am so happy for you bes! Finally, you’re tying the knot! Single no more! Sigurado hindi ka na namin mahahagilap niyan. You will surely be busy with your wife na as you heed God’s commandment, humayo at magpakarami!” Sinabayan ko ulit yun ng pagtawa. Nangiti lang ulit siya pero parang ewan, ang tabang talaga ng ngiti niya. This isn’t my favorite smile of my best friend. There’s something in his smile that I couldn’t name.

He didn’t remove his gaze towards me. Patuloy lang niya akong tinitigan until may kumatok sa pintuan. One of their wedding organizers. Binuksan niya ang pinto and he reminded Kent that he needed to proceed to the pavilion in 10 minutes to wait for the arrival of his bride. Then the man closed the door and left.

10 minutes. My last 10 minutes.

“Uhm… bes,” I broke the silence. “I just want to tell you that I am so happy seeing you where you are now. You’ve grown as a great man. I am so proud of you now and of what you will become,” I sincerely said. Titig na titig lang siya sakin while I was talking.