Intertwine

43.

"I don't want to pretend now." was what Allan said, and maybe this was such a small sentence, but the impact went way beyond. 

"All it takes is the acceptance! Neglecting it is one of the main thing that keep a person hanging on to the same event over and over again. They neglect there experience without realizing that trauma comes with it, and this trauma eats them up until each and every part of them paralyzes. 
So until a time person accepts, let go and stop pretending to avoid the past. They can never break free from the strings that are holding them."

"I-I just don't want to deal with it, I don't want to go," Allan spoke again getting Ella out of her trance.

"Where? what are you talking about?" she asked.

"There is this family event, and whenever this happens... it end ups -" he exhaled, feeling it difficult to speak about a matter he don't even want to think about. 

"Would you come with me?" he asked nonchalantly, now matching his gaze with hers, and abruptly a smile appeared on Ella's face.

"You can't have me everywhere." she grasped his shoulder.

"I can give you moral support but you've to face things on your own, same goes regarding your thoughts, you can't just depend on being with me to erase them away." Allan was quick to get offended, as he removed her grasp, moving further from her.

"This means you've plans to leave again, if you want to, then just go, there is no need to spread excuses." voice came out steady, as the brunette chose to look anywhere except her.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay!" she tugged his sleeve to make him look at her, and he was quick to pull away, so she held on to his cheeks facing him towards her, observing how his gaze felt sharper than usual, defensive and un-open, breathe getting shallow gradually.

Ella continued to inhale and exhale slowly, and the habit of Allan pursuit in copying her.

Her eyes didn't shift away from him, and thus she could now notice his breath getting steady and gaze anxious. She couldn't decide on what is the reason for him to get frenzy over just a meetup.

Unknowingly, the anxiousness traveled on to her face at the same time. Her pupils dilating on to each one of his orbs, mouth swallowing sharply. 

After a minute of contemplating Allan stated his realization.

 "You know!" his voice came out more like a question but ended up straight, since Ella's expression seized.

"Since when?" he asked again, and she couldn't decide on what to say, since her knowledge isn't trust-able yet.

"The day you visited the clinic I was studying under professor on the topic related to your condition, and when I recognized you as his patient. I- " she paused hoping that he would get the later.

A sigh escaped his mouth, and she went indecisive again.

"But you'll get through it." Allan looked away, prompting her grip to fall loose.

"How can you say that?" he stood up, fist clenching itself.

"Because you're getting better and if this continued you can surely-" she tried to find right words, but since she wasn't fully aware about anything, her mind couldn't make up an answer.

"Isn't it easy for you to say that?" he demanded quizzically, 
"Do you even know anything?" nails continuously rubbing onto each other.

Ella turned soar, face turning into awe with this sudden change of environment. She tried to ask him to sit down, but he fazed away, asking her to let go of him.