HATE ME ❙ Eren ✘ Reader

Hate me║ A promise

Another restless night I would spend crying myself to sleep. The feeling of his absence tearing me apart and the knowledge that we might have to part for years—maybe even forever.

It was killing me within—loving somebody you can't have.  
The curse of love.

I removed myself off the window sill, feeling my skin crawl from the cold. I didn't want to sleep just yet...my mind was a the verge of breaking, there was no relief to find.

I sat down on my bed, biting my lower lip as more tears were emerging from my eyes. The sensation inside was chest wouldn't stop aching, no matter how hard I bit. It hurt. It hurt.

I picked up my phone, switching it on to find his name on my contact list. I knew it, it was stupid to try. Eren wasn't going to pick up, Josef had taken his phone away.

I-I need you right now

The screen got covered my tears, hand shaking as I tried to call his number again. I let it ring softly in my ears, anticipation wrapping my heart fully. "E-Eren please pick up" I let out a shaky voice, hearing my own throat go hoarse.

It rang—each tone stinging my heart more.

It rang and rang, the melody somehow soothing my mind. Maybe I needed to sleep after all.

Then it went still...so silent that I forgot where I was.

I'm so sorry Eren

My back collapsed on my bed, gripping the phone across my chest with troubled tears. They were everlasting down my cheeks, causing me to feel so vulnerable.

The future...I was damn afraid.
I was so fearful.

"Eren...I-I need to be with you" I mumbled as my chest was being constrained. The eternal affection I had for this boy was enchanting—but deadly as well. How could I advance on? How could I live while apprehending he wasn't going to be nearby?

He meant my everything, my heart lazed in a tie with his. Connection to a level I had no concepts for, just him and I. Nothing in this world was required.

It was getting harder and harder to challenge this.

But then, like a shimmer of light enfolding me as the sun would do. I gained a notification on my phone, letting my sight to the cloud even more. "W-What?"

From Eren
[22:13]
| I'm sorry, I can't talk because he's here. I got my phone back and I don't want to lose it again. Are you okay? Did something happen?? |

I couldn't believe this—my jaw simply dropped. Here I was on the verge of my breakdown and I receive a text from my most beloved person. It felt like a dream.

I clasped a hand across my mouth, sniffling through my tears. I still couldn't accept it, thinking wouldn't hear from Eren for weeks maybe. I was so worried about him, each day and each minute I spend thinking of the agony he was in. Thinking of how he survived this for three years and when I met him for the first time—I had no idea. So clueless. No wonder Eren wore a sweater when we went camping.

But at this moment—where my mind was at its lowest it had ever been, I desperately required his compassion. I need him in my life to go on.

I began texting, still swimming in my own tears.

To Eren
[22:15]
| I'm sorry Eren, I just need you right now. I don't know what to do, I miss you so much. I'm sorry for being weak. I know this is the last you need on your shoulders right now. I'm sorry |