[ITZY] How You Roll (It Up) | A JinLia Fanfiction

[15] Guilt

thisislia

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thisislia The thought of your kiss sends my soul into bliss 💘

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official.jane The thought of their WHAT sends your souls into WHAT
yoshi_in_the_hood uhm.... excuse me, THE CAPTION???
all.about.yuna I see you, Lia. 👀👀👀

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"Hey... Kiara. It's been a while since I last came here, right?"

Placing the bouquet of flowers on top of the grave, Ryujin cleared her throat.

"I wrote a letter for you to finally let go of you, it was almost three pages long but before I could ever finish it, I realized that it might be a better idea to come here and... say what I want to say.

Life hasn't been easy on me, you know? Not since you left. Even until now, I still think it's my fault that you aren't here with everyone you once loved anymore. Not because I treated you badly. But because I know I could have prevented it, if I would have just looked closer.

It's obvious to me that you weren't fine now, but back then, I was just living in my small happy world, while you were obviously struggling so hard that it... pushed you over the edge. I'm sorry for not preventing it.

A month ago, I would have never wanted to get over you. You were somehow still the only person I cared about, even though you were gone for months at that point. But a lot of things have changed since last month.

And now, I need to let go. Not only for myself, because I will destroy myself over and over again by pitying myself every time I think of you, but also for the sake of all the people who are close to me.

Because everytime you're on my mind, I'm cold. Cold, distant, rude, and so angry somehow, as I don't want anyone to see how much it hurts me to see your face in my mind. But also, there is also someone who I adore more than anything.

If she hadn't been there for me when I needed her, I wouldn't have been able to become better in the first place. She managed to break down my facade, she made it possible for me to let my guard down again, and she always saw me for the person I am.

Not for my struggles and problems. She just... sees Shin Ryujin, in her purest form. And that's something I never thought was possible after you left.

I'm so thankful that she took my hand and dragged me to the out of my dark mind, because I wouldn't have walked out on my own.

I'm not done healing. I need time, a lot of time actually. But I'm done letting my demons control me. I'm in charge now, motherfuckers, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I won't forget about you in any way, Kiara, but I have to move on in order to be happy again. And you always told me that you loved to see me happy.