In the Melancholy Moonlight

Chapter CIII: So Much for Fairness

HENRY:

I didn't want to go to my dormitory. I didn't want to have to face his empty bed again.

It had been bad enough the night before. It would be so much worse after a full day of Hogwarts without him.

We'd always had an odd number of people in our classes. But Cedric made a point of sitting with a different person every single day so that nobody was ever sitting alone two days in a row.

Now, without him, there was an even number of people. Nobody had to sit alone anymore. Yet everyone in the classroom felt more alone than ever.

Angelina had taken the spot next to me in Herbology to talk about Quidditch. Cedric and I always worked together in that class. But I was glad for the distraction from the sorrow.

She had wanted to have tryouts first, which was more than fine by me, so she took the Friday night slot. I would have been fine with waiting until the next weekend to start practicing, I would have been fine with never practicing at all, but Roger Davies of Ravenclaw and Cassius Warrington of Slytherin had insisted I take the second slot, Saturday afternoon after the first Gryffindor practice.

I didn't want to have to replace Cedric as Seeker. But I had no choice.

Shouldn't a Captain be better than this? I'm a disaster.

I stared at Cedric's plans, spread all over the table before me. He had tailored each play to the specific strengths of each player. His neat handwriting in the margins explained when each play should be used. I couldn't help but notice that none of his plans for Gryffindor ever involved targeting the other team's Chasers. He'd always protected Lucy so well.

Lucy.

Word had spread like wildfire around the school about what she and Harry had done in Umbridge's class. I heard about it from Archie, who was severely disappointed he'd missed it. I, for one, was glad I hadn't been there.

If I had been there, I would have wanted to shout at her, too. But I was a prefect. I couldn't shout at a professor.

Cedric would never have shouted at a professor, no matter how badly they deserved it.

Right?

I glanced over at his spot. He always sat cross-legged on the soft white rug. Far enough from the fire to feel safe but close enough to feel its warmth. Close to the middle of the room, so he was always accessible, if anyone needed help with homework. I was the only person left in the common room, seeing as it was long past midnight, but that specific emptiness ripped through my chest like a dagger because I could remember a time when it wasn't empty.

It had so rarely been empty before.

Cedric loved being able to help people overcome obstacles they never thought they could. Usually, it was Transfiguration, a subject that was nearly impossible for everyone but came so naturally to Cedric. I couldn't count the number of times younger kids would shyly approach him, almost in tears because of their frustration, and ask for help. He'd drop whatever he was doing and help however he could, even before he was prefect. Once he was prefect, he didn't usually get his own homework done until late, so late, because he had been so busy helping everyone else with theirs. But he never once complained, about being up so late or being so tired the next day, because he loved it. He loved helping.

I ripped the prefect badge off my chest, tears springing to my eyes. I clenched it in my fist.

"How am I ever supposed to be you?" I asked his vacant spot. I slammed the badge down next to the Quidditch plans and rested my head in my hands. "I'm doing my best, but you were so... so... Merlin, it's just not fair, nobody in the world deserved your fate less than you, Cedric. You were just so... good. It's not fair!"