In the Melancholy Moonlight

Chapter CLII: Better Than This

Wrapped around your fingers
Even when I couldn't help you
And shelter from all fear
We knew we never had
When I saw your eyes tell the story
Words were meaningless

You and I
Left the world behind
You and I
For all we know
It couldn't get better than this

"Better Than This"
CHPTRS

~

LUCY:

I was drowning again. Quite literally, that time.

Cast out at sea. Carried away by my own storm.

Even when I managed to poke my head above the water, rain poured down from above. The clouds made the world so dark it was nearly impossible to see.

There was a storm everywhere I turned. When I was asleep, I was drowning. When I was awake, the storm forced me back under. I didn't want to deal with any of it. I wanted everything to just stop.

The wounded shoulder. Tired of trying to swim. The wounded soldier. Tired of fighting on, tired of carrying on. Tired of the monthly battle that ended in a stalemate at best, a defeat at worst. Or was it the other way around, stalemate at worst, defeat at best?

Where did the metaphor end? Where did the reality begin?

It had been light the first time I had opened my eyes. Fred and George had been there. Everything had been heavy, too heavy. I remembered something about Umbridge, and a lance. Harry had been there, too, and he said it was alright to go back to sleep, so I let the potions pull me back under.

It was dark when I opened my eyes a second time. I was curled in a ball. I wasn't alone. Cedric was there. I didn't need to see him to know he was there. I didn't need to hear his voice either. I could feel him. And if Cedric was there, it would be alright, so I let the potions pull me back under.

Weak morning light filtered through the windows when I opened my eyes a third time. I was more awake this third time. Everything was still heavy, but the potions appeared to be wearing off. My shoulder was throbbing steadily. That pain pounded against the entire upper half of my body and forced me into a heavy sort of alertness, like a beam of light against a thick fog. It was trying to pierce the fog, but it was doing more harm than good.

I must have winced, because there was movement to my right, and a warm and steady hand grabbed my cold one.

It wasn't Cedric.

"Harry?" I managed. I was still curled in a ball, around something warm in my arms. "Where's Ced?"

Harry's face was already pale. It grew even more so as he looked at me with concerned confusion. "He — He isn't here, Lu. I-I'm sorry."

"But I..." I blinked. He was there. I had felt him in the middle of the night. He was still there. I could still feel him.

"Lucy, he... he's..." Harry swallowed hard and reached forward to feel my forehead. "Bloody — I thought — here, Lu, you should take this one."

Harry's warm hand disappeared, and a couple of seconds later, he was holding out a vial with a red potion inside. I pushed myself up to a sitting position using my good arm. As I did, I swayed, but Harry steadied me.

"It's alright," he murmured. "Madam Pomfrey said this one should help with the dizziness, too."

I nodded, taking the vial from his hand. I popped the cork off with one hand — this was a familiar routine, even in that state, perhaps especially in that state — and downed the contents in a couple of swallows. A nasty metallic taste filled my mouth, but Harry was right. Within about ten seconds, I felt less dizzy and less foggy. I stared up at the nearest window as some semblance of myself returned to me.