In the Melancholy Moonlight

Chapter XCV: Dear Cedric,

September 1, 1995

Dear Cedric,

   Henry told me that he's started writing letters to you, and he recommended that I do the same. I gave him your Quidditch plans from last summer; he's Captain this year. He says he's going to tuck his letters into the trunk of the tree under which you two always did your homework, as soon as we get to school. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't even really know what to say in this letter. I know you'll never read it. But Henry said he's been writing them for a month, and that it was hard at first but it got easier the more he wrote, so I said I'd give it a shot.

   There's so much that's happened, Cedric. I'm sure Mum and Dad were happy to see you. If I'm being honest... I'm jealous. And if I'm being really, truly honest... I think about joining you, wherever you are, every day. But I can't. I know I'm not done yet. I just... think about it.

   A lot happened all at once when they died. I don't have enough parchment to try to explain it all in a letter, not that I would be able to anyway. Professor Moody — the real one, not... the other one — said to be incredibly careful about what we write in letters, and if we had any doubt, not to write at all. I doubt he expected I would be writing to you of all people, but I still would rather play it safe. Mum didn't play it safe enough, and, well, I'm sure you know by now what happened next.

   I'm writing this from the Hogwarts Express. We all went to King's Cross in small groups this morning, just to be safe. I was with Harry, Mrs. Weasley, and Sirius. Harry's with me now, as I write this; we're in a compartment with Ginny and Neville and Luna. Ron and Hermione are the Gryffindor prefects, so they had to go to a meeting and patrol the halls. Oh, and that reminds me, Henry said these letters were Luna's idea.

   It already feels so wrong without you, Ced. It was horrible running through the barrier without you. It was horrible carrying Malachi's cage in one hand and Tuck's basket in the other. It's weird not seeing you pass by the window occasionally while you're patrolling. It's weird seeing Henry with the prefect badge instead. He's filling both spots you left open. I haven't asked who Head Boy is yet. I don't want to know.

   I wish you were here, Ced. If you were, none of this would be happening. Everything would be alright. But... you're not here. Nothing is alright.

   I miss you. So much it hurts. But I hope you're happy, wherever you are. You deserve that.

   I should probably stop writing now; I think the food cart is coming soon, and Harry keeps glancing over at me as if he's worried I'll start crying the way I did last night. It's not completely unjustified — I have to keep stopping to fight away the tears. But I think Henry and Luna may be onto something... I feel a bit better now.

   I love you so much. I'll write you again soon.

      Love always, Lucy