In the Melancholy Moonlight

Chapter CXXXV: Dear Cedric,

October 20, 1995

Dear Cedric,

   Well, happy birthday! I hope that wherever you are, you're positively drowning in Chocolate Frogs. I saw Alex slip one under your pillow this morning when he thought I wasn't looking. I wonder if you saw that, too.

   I think Lucy's okay. Well, no, she's not "okay" necessarily, but she's doing a good job of pretending to be. Remember that DADA group I mentioned? Today was the first meeting, in the Room of Requirement. Did you ever come in here? It's brilliant, truly, you would have loved it. Lucy and Harry did a great job leading it. You never really mentioned to me how great her sense of humor was. I didn't think I'd laugh today, but I did, quite a bit. Oh, and speaking of Lucy and Harry, you know how we sometimes talked about how great they'd be together? Well, they aren't dating yet, as far as I know, but you know, I think what they have right now is perfect. It's exactly what they need. Professor Sprout said they remind her of us a bit, which I thought was interesting. Quidditch is going alright. We have our first match coming up soon. I think that's about it for updates on my life. And Lucy's too, I suppose, though I can see she's writing you a fair amount too.

   I'm sorry to sound like a broken record, but I miss you. I miss you so much. I promise I do. I miss hearing your laugh and seeing your smile and talking to you while we work in Herbology and tearing out pages of Quidditch magazines for the bulletin board between our beds. It's empty now. It would feel wrong to fill it without you.

   I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry you're not turning 18 today. Happy birthday, regardless, Cedric Amos Diggory. I'll write you soon.

      Love, Henry

October 20, 1995

Dear Cedric,

   Today was hard, it was so hard. I wanted to just stay in bed all day and cry and miss you in private, but I couldn't. Do you remember the DADA group I mentioned over a month ago? The first meeting was tonight. I thought it would be symbolic, since I'm doing this for you. A lot of us are doing it for you. I've been using your journal, with notes from the Tournament. You worked so hard on that, the way you always did in everything. But it still wasn't enough. That's still so hard for me to understand. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the fight after all, if not even all of your preparation could save you. When I feel like that, though, I realize that what we're doing now is better than nothing. I just hope that what we're doing is enough. I don't want to lose anyone else. I can't lose anyone else.

   I don't have any answers about Sloane yet, or about myself. All I know is that the world was a better place when you were in it. I don't know if it will ever be good again, since you'll never be here again. But, well, I'm going to do my best to make it as good as possible, even though I'll never be as good as you. I think I did alright tonight, helping people with the Disarming Charm. It was Harry's idea to start with this one, which was smart. We have a whole plan for everything, and it's almost entirely spells I learned from you. You're in every part of Dumbledore's Army, Cedric, whether you know it or not. I hope you don't mind. I hope it makes you proud.

   The Room of Requirement is too smart for its own good, you know. This piece of parchment and this quill and this table and this chair appeared out of thin air. Henry's, too. It's too smart for its own good on full moons, too. It's started producing ropes, to stop me from biting or scratching myself. I think one of these days I might overpower the magic in this room, but so far, it's been overpowering me. Not for lack of trying on my part, though. I don't know what's happening to me, Ced. Do you? Or, well, would you? I suppose that would be the more proper question to ask.

   I should probably wrap up, it looks like Henry is about done and it's already after curfew and Harry is probably waiting up for me so we can talk about tonight. We did it. We actually did it. I hope you're proud of us. I love you so much, and I miss you so much. Happy birthday, Cedric.

      Love always, Lucy