In the Melancholy Moonlight

Chapter LXXXIV: Kill Me, Then

LUCY:

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest.

"Again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then," I replied.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain.

I screamed.

Claire was holding out a teddy bear to me, blue eyes eager and bright.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest.

"Let's try this again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then." My voice was weaker still.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain, pain that made me want to die just for the relief of it all.

I screamed.

A longer memory, one I'd already seen. The wave, the crushing wave, the wave that had traumatized me for years even before I remembered the wave had existed in the first place. And yet... my dad's hands around me lifting me to safety.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest.

A heavy sigh. "Again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then," I replied, my voice weaker.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain.

I screamed, the sound hurting my ears.

A sunset over a vineyard, little girls' giggles heard over even my screams.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest.

A different voice. "Again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then." My voice was weaker still.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain.

I screamed.

A longer memory, one I'd already seen. My first day of kindergarten, being so excited to follow Claire into the school's gates, feeling like my life was finally beginning, so blissfully unaware of how it would be ending in just a couple months' time.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest.

Another sigh, a different voice. "Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then." My voice was weaker still.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain.

I screamed.

My dad reached forward to tap the tip of my nose, making a funny expression.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest. The hand holding it was shaking.

"Again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then." My voice was little more than a whisper, my throat torn to shreds by my own screams.

"Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain, pain that made me want to die just so it would all be over.

I screamed.

A longer memory, one I'd already seen. With Claire, with my sister, on a trampoline, jumping higher and higher and higher until my magic suspended us in the air just a bit longer than gravity would have allowed otherwise.

The pain disappeared.

I closed my eyes.

I did not dream.

"Rennervate."

I opened my eyes.

A wand was pointed at my chest. Closer this time. This hand did not shake.

A very familiar voice. "Again. Join us, or die."

"Kill me, then." Please.

This time, the voice sighed. Leaned closer. They'd been careful not to show their faces, too afraid of being recognized. "The Dark Lord comes tomorrow. I am sure he will be able to convince you, but we'll try this one more time." The man stepped back and shouted, "Crucio!"

Pain, horrible pain.

I screamed, but it no longer hurt my ears. I was going deaf to my own agony.

There was no memory this time. Only pain. White-hot, searing pain, pain so deep I could feel it in my very soul.

The pain disappeared, but there was no relief anymore. My entire body trembled, everything within me still burning.

I could barely breathe.

Footsteps faded out of the cave.

I rolled onto my back, a silent scream still contorting my face.

Finally, I closed my eyes.