Tarkin: this Death Star ain't gonna operate itself
Palpatine: well I'm a lazy bitch who likes to sit in his chair all day
Palpatine: speaking of my chair, I must get back to work
Boba fett: what does he even do as work?
Vader: he just spins around in his chair all day
Palpatine: weeeeeeeeeeeeee
Thrawn: ... does he always do this?
Tarkin: yep
Palpatine: ugh, Vader!
Vader: yes master?
Palpatine: I told you how tired I am of seeing the same old view EVERY SINGLE DAY
Vader: but we're- we're in space
Palpatine: well yeah, but would it kill anyone if we could hover over Scarif every once in a while? I heard it's nice this time of year
Tarkin: I'm sure we could arrange a trip to scarif
Vader: b-but the sand
Palpatine: oh get over it already you whiny asthmatic
Tarkin: we are setting course for scarif
Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*at scarif*
Palpatine *getting cozied up on a beach chair and a Hawaiian shirt*: ahhhh, now THIS is a vacation!
Thrawn: ah, scarif, a splendid choice if I do say so myself
Thrawn: I think I'll go for a swim *gracefully enters the water*
Tarkin: where did thrawn get all those abs from?
Palpatine: he spends his free time punching a training bag with a kid's face taped to it
Boba fett: I do the same thing except with han solo's face... and mace Windu
Vader: what does thrawn have against a kid?
Palpatine: oh shut up, Vader. I still can't believe you had to kill all those younglings, they would have made way better inquisitors by now than these second rate idiots
Grand inquisitor: hey!
Vader: eh, I guess you're right, but it was fun though hahahaha
Tarkin: I still don't understand Thrawn's obsession with that child
Palpatine: he's this force sensitive kid who likes to call him self jabba
Palpatine: anyways, i'd like my coconut milk now
Trooper 1: here you go, emperor
Palpatine: ahh, finally *slurps coconut milk*
Palpatine: HEY! where's the little umbrella??
Vader: ooo, sounds like someones in trouble
Palpatine: I WANT MY LITTLE COCKTAIL UMBRELLA
*Palpatine unleashes zappy hands*
Trooper 1: *passes out*
Palpatine: the customer service here is terrible
Thrawn: they're stormtroopers, what did you expect?
Tarkin: he expects them to be wearing coconut bras and grass skirts over their armor
Vader: ...
Palpatine: that's right! Come on troopers, get into costume!
Stormtroopers: ugh
Boba: wow, I actually kinda feel bad for them
Vader: this is what happens when you go on vacation with palpatine
Boba: well, never doing this again
GROUP PHOTOS!!
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