Star Wars Texts

babysitting

AU where order 66 doesn't happen, Anakin doesn't turn, palpatine is killed, Ahsoka becomes a Knight, Jar Jar becomes the supreme chancellor, you know, all that good stuff

(Leia and Luke are 5-ish)

Rex: when I became a soldier for the GAR, I didn't sign up to be my general's babysitter

Cody: neither did I, buddy

Rex: no! I'm talking about being the babysitter for HIS KIDS

Rex:  ACTUAL CHILDREN

Rex:  I WASN'T TRAINED FOR THIS

Leia:  I WANT DONUTS!!!!

Rex:  YOU'VE ALREADY HAD 3 YOU CRACK ADDICTED YOUNGLING

Rex:  I think you need an intervention

Leia:  Captain Rex, if you don't get me another donut, I'm going to tell your men your biggest secret

Rex:  ...

Rex:  you will?

Leia:  yep

Rex:  Kriff

Fives:  Rex, did you just swear in front of her

Rex:  trust me, Leia knows more bad words than I do.  You'd be surprised

Cody:  and what's this big secret?

Rex:  nothing you need to be worried about...

Echo:  well, Luke seems to be pretty well behaved!

Fives:  you only like Luke because he listens to your bedtime stories

Echo:  at least somebody here appreciates literature

*leia hanging upside down from a ceiling fan*

Leia:  *evil child laughter*

Rex:  LEIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

*rex gets her off the ceiling*

Rex:  ah look at you, you've messed up your hair.  Come here and let me fix it

*leia sits between Rex's legs while he tries to do her hair*

Wolffe:  Reeex, your tongue is sticking out

Rex:  shut up, I'm concentrating

Tup:  wow, Rex is actually pretty good at this. And I thought I was the one good at hair

Rex:  there!  All done.  Now your hair looks like donuts.  Are you happy now?

*rex hands her a mirror*

Leia:  *gasps* I... LOVE IT 😍😍😍

Leia:  thank you, Uncle Rex!

*leia runs away to show Luke*

Cody:  hey Rex, are you crying?

Rex:  NO!  Uh, I'm pretty sure boil is cutting onions in the other room trying to make a disgusting soup

Cody:  grrrrr.  How many times do I HAVE to tell him to STOP making that onion soup!  Last time he made me eat it and I THREW UP 14 TIMES

*cody stomps off*

Rex:  whew

Wolffe:  I know you're crying, Rex

Rex:  how else am I supposed to react?  she called me uncle Rex! <3333 😫

Comet:  come on, Wolffe.  How would you feel if OUR general had a kid and called you Uncle Wolffe?

Wolffe:  I would wonder why in the galaxy commander Tano would consider me her uncle