Star Wars Texts

top or bottom

Yoda: a new trial to become a Jedi master, there is

Mace: what is it master yoda?

Yoda: take the top or bottom quiz on buzzfeed, you must. Become a Jedi master or keep your position, you will, should you get the result "top" or "switch"

Obi wan: so if you're a bottom, you don't get promoted?

Yoda: yes

Plo: what did you get, master yoda?

Yoda: a top, I am

Mace: I just took the quiz. I got top

Obi wan: so did I

Anakin: obi wan always has the higher ground

Anakin: no need for me to take the quiz, I'm totally a top

Padme: *cough*

Anakin: you guys might as well promote me to Jedi master right now

Yoda: take the quiz first, you must

Anakin: fine, but I'm telling you guys, I'm a top

Kit: hey I got switch

Aayla: same here

Plo: I'm a top

Ahsoka: I got top! Can I be a knight now?!

Yoda: yes, but pass the other trials you must

Ahsoka: sweet!

Luminara: I got top!

Adi: switch!

Vos: I got switch, but I'll always be a bottom for obi wan ;)

Obi wan: someone help me

Yoda: your results, skywalker?

Anakin: ...

Anakin: erbjtotjbennmdm

Mace: I'm sorry Anakin, what was that?

Anakin: bottom

Mace: I guess you'll never be a Jedi master

Anakin: THIS ISN'T FAIR

Anakin: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Cody: I just received a transmission that said all generals, commanders, and captains need to take a top or bottom quiz. We're supposed to report to the Jedi council with our results, whatever they mean

Obi wan: what'd you get, Cody?

Cody: top

Obi wan: nice

Ahsoka: what about you, rex?

Rex: oh. I got switch

Plo: wolffe, what did you get?

Wolffe: I got top!

Rex: yeah he's the alpha wolf

Anakin: are you guys telling me that the clones are more worthy of being jedis than me?!

Mace: perhaps

Cody: wait, we're going to be jedis?

Rex: ooooh can I get a blue lightsaber!

Cody: I want a yellow one!

Anakin: NOBODY is getting a new lightsaber. Now you three please leave

Wolffe: aww man

Plo: at least we know our clone leaders are capable

Obi wan: agreed

Kit: should we have the younglings take the test as well?

Yoda: too young, they are

Anakin: no youngling is becoming a Jedi master before me. They'd die before they could pull that off

Yoda: ...

Obi wan: ...

Mace: ...

Plo: ...

The entire council: ...

Anakin: I was kidding!

*meanwhile*

Sidious: you must all take the top or bottom quiz if you wish to be a candidate to be my special apprentice

Grievous: haha! I got switch

Ventress: ooh I'm a top. Not surprised

Dooku: oh crap

Dooku: I'm a bottom

Sidious: then you must DIEEE

Dooku: I'm getting out of here!

Maul: thank goodness sidious didn't make me take that quiz before I became his apprentice. I'm a proud bottom

Ventress: it's a stupid quiz anyways. It's not like being a top or bottom defines your strength as a warrior

Sidious: shhh, don't tell that to dooku

Maul: you keep way too many secrets old man

*back at the Jedi temple*

Yoda: PSYCH

Yoda: this trial, serious it was not. Wondered I did, on who was a top, switch, or bottom

Anakin: kill me now

I wasn't trying to make fun of bottoms or anything, this was just for humor. Hope no one feels offended <3
Who do you guys think are tops, bottoms, or switches?