Star Wars Texts

one day left to live

Anakin:  What would you do if you had one day left to live?

Hardcase: eat three jars of peanut butter. No one will be able to stop me!

Jesse: when has anyone ever been able to stop you from doing anything

Anakin: I would tell everyone about my secret wife

Ahsoka:  we already know about your secret wife

Rex:  so what else would you do if it was your last day alive?

Anakin:  I dont know

Obi wan:  Anakin lives every day like it's his last

Cody:  the real question is what general kenobi would do on his last day alive

Obi wan: I'd probably rob a robe factory

Obi wan:  or maybe a starbucks

Ahsoka:  you know what'd I do?

Ahsoka:  dress up as a clone, go to 79's, and get wasted

Anakin: AHSOKA NO

Cody:  well I wanna try some deathsticks !!

Obi wan:  ...

Cody:  uhh I mean breadsticks

Obi wan:  yeah that's what I thought

Fives:  I hear Olive Garden has some exquisite breadsticks

Boil:  pfft

Boil:  their breadsticks could never compare to mine

Waxer:  you literally just salt bread and then boil it

Boil:  das the way I like it

Echo:  hey guys I got some breadsticks from Olive Garden.  I bought a battalion of them so we can all share!

Boil:  NO

Boil:  I DIDNT SPEND ALL THIS TIME MAKING BREADSTICKS FOR YOU TO SHOW UP WITH THAT MONSTROSITY

Echo:  :,(

Fives:  Boil, you can take your breadsticks and shove them up your a-

Rex:  accordion

Fives:  as-

Rex:  asphalt

Fives:  rex, why?

Rex:  no swearing in my house

Cody:  you don't have a house

Rex:  :(

Anakin:  none of us do

Ahsoka:  didn't you buy a house on a private island

Anakin:  no, but I was thinking about it

Anakin:  unfortunately, I only have 3 dollars

Hardcase:  you could buy a jar of peanut butter with 3 dollars

Kix:  is your only ambition in life to eat peanut butter

Hardcase:  pretty much

Echo:  well one day I want to find a cave and say ECHOOO

Fives:  hehe, I did that once

Echo:  what?!  And you didn't invite me?

Fives:  you were too busy reading a reg manual

Echo:  you know, you're really annoying, fives

Fives:  I get called that a lot

Echo:  annoying?

Fives:  no.  Fives

Echo:  -_-

*someone heads to the door*

Anakin:  hey!  Where are you going?

Clone:  hehrhejajbwjwaj

Obi wan:  you can't just leave our stupid conversation without a good explanation

Cody:  is that rex's armor?

Clone:  *super deep voice* yeah it's just me, Rex.  I'm heading out

Clone:  I'm totally Rex, by the way

Obi wan:  oh I don't think so

*anakin rips off helmet*

Anakin:  ahsoka?!!

Ahsoka:  ugh

Anakin:  what were you doing leaving the group?!

Ahsoka:  like I said.  I wanted to disguise myself as a clone and go to 79's

Anakin:  you said you'd do that if it was your last day alive

Ahsoka:  yeah, but then I thought, why wait?

Anakin:  Rex, why would you let Ahsoka use your armor?!

Rex:  she said she'd throw my hair bleach into Mustafar if I didn't give her my armor

Anakin:  why can't you just try having dark hair for once?

Rex:  it's not my style

Rex:  I'm not me without my blond hair

Cody:  true, then you'd just look like echo with a buzz cut

Obi wan:  where's Ahsoka?

Anakin:  oh my force

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