Star Wars Texts

baby shower

Wolffe:  I swear to force if I get another invitation to general Skywalker's baby shower, I'm gonna flip a table

Plo:  Wolffe...

Boost:  what do you even do at a baby shower?

Warthog:  you give the babies a shower, duh

Sinker:  they're not even born yet though..?

*anakin breaks through the door*

Anakin:  WOLFFE WHY ARENT YOU COMING TO MY BABY SHOWER

Wolffe:  I'm busy

Comet:  doing what?

Wolffe:  umm, cleaning my eyeball

Kix: well that's a first

Plo: Wolffe, do you not sanitize that eye?

Wolffe: ... sometimes I forget

Kix: Wolffe that's disgusting, I've told you a million times to keep that thing clean or you're going to get an infection

Anakin:  still doesn't answer why Wolffe isn't coming to my baby shower

Wolffe:  if I come, will you stop filling my mailbox with invitations

Anakin:  probably

Wolffe:  fine

Anakin:  YES

Wolffe:  why is the general so crazy these days

Rex:  he's just really excited about his kids

Plo:  that's understandable

Obi wan:  you guys should've seen plo when he brought Ahsoka to the temple.  He was so excited

Plo:  my little soka :)

Ahsoka:  I know, I was so adorable

*at the baby shower*

Ahsoka:  damn, Anakin really invited everybody to the baby shower, huh?

Rex:  even the bad batch apparently

Crosshair:  I don't even want to be here

Cody:  then why'd you even bother coming?

Crosshair:  Hunter made me

Tech:  and he wants free cake

Wrecker:  WHERE'S THE CAKE

Anakin:  boys!  You made it!

Hunter:  yeah, nice party, General

Anakin:  thank you very mu- woah hey, crosshair.  No chewing toothpicks at my baby shower

Crosshair:  huh

Padme:  Anakin's been going nuts trying to babyproof the party

Tech:  but the babies aren't even born yet..?

Sinker:  that's what I said!

Anakin:  toothpicks are dangerous!  *slaps toothpick out of crosshair's mouth*

Crosshair:  hey!

Boil:  bro, just use this lollipop, it's so much better

*crosshair tries the lollipop*

Crosshair:  damn this is some good shi-

Anakin: NO SWEARING IN FRONT OF THE BABIES

Ahsoka: as crazy as Anakin is, I think he's going to be a good dad

Obi wan: I mean, you turned out all right

Padme: I doubt Anakin had anything to do with Ahsoka turning out like that. She takes after me

Anakin: hey!

Padme: kidding! Or am I...

Cody: I'd say Rex turned out all right too, all things considered...

Obi wan: but not the rest of his battalion

Obi wan and Cody: HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Anakin: I'm sorry, is it national insult Anakin day or something?

Ahsoka: no, it's INTERnational insult Anakin day

Yoda: get the memo, I did not

Obi wan: its alright master yoda, you can still participate in international insult Anakin day

Yoda: a whiny boy, Anakin is. Hmhmmhm

Anakin: Aw come on

Yoda: and need a haircut, you do

Anakin: I'm beginning to regret inviting Yoda to this party

Rex: you should probably be regretting inviting wrecker to the party. He ate all the cake

Anakin: ALL of it??

*wrecker walks around with icing on his face*

Obi wan: it appears so

Boil: I spent THREE KRIFFING HOURS MAKING THAT CAKE

Waxer: boil, calm down

Boil: I WILL NOT

Echo: looks like boil has reached his... boiling point

Jesse: lol

Fives: this is why you're my favorite brother, echo

Echo: 😎

Hardcase: I'm still wondering when we're going to give the baby a shower

Dogma: you don't give the baby a shower at a baby shower, you idiot

Hardcase: aww man. I even brought bubble bath stuff and everything!

Dogma: well, that could work as a gift to the couple having the baby. So well done

Hardcase: yes! Hardcase always wins!

Wolffe:  except for the time Hardcase tested to see if orange peels are slippery and fell on the floor hahahahaha.  Jesse was even recording!

Kix:  Wolffe, clean your eyeball

Kix:  Hardcase slipped on a banana peel, not a orange peel

Wolffe:  damn

Jesse:  and I'm pretty sure Comet was the one filming the whole thing, not me

Wolffe:  WHAT

Wolffe:  I really do need to clean my eye

Anakin:  well, I'm definitely kicking Wolffe off the potential babysitter list

Wolffe:  I was on the list??

Ahsoka:  not anymore

Wolffe:  good, that's one less thing I need to worry about

Rex:  lol, imagine being the general's babysitter

Everyone:  ...

Rex:  what?

October 14 is now international insult Anakin day woot woot *blows kazoo*
Mace: I could get behind that holiday
Anakin: -_-

I'm kidding. Love ya ani <3