Star Wars Texts

my blueberry waffles

Kix: captain rex

Rex: yes?

Kix: I think the time has come to relieve fives of duty

Rex: ???

Rex: why would I do that?

Kix: because sir, he ate all of my blueberry waffles

Rex: all 66 packages of them?

Kix: yup

Rex: I don't know if I'm scared or impressed

Kix: well I'm pissed off. Fives should be punished for his actions

Rex: I don't know if that deserves punishment, but I can take it up with general skywalker

Kix: thank you, sir

*a few moments later*

Rex: uh sir. Kix told me that fives has been eating all of the blueberry waffles and-

Rex: why is your face in the fridge?

Anakin: no reason

Kix: SKYWALKER IS EATING MY WAFFLES

Anakin: i really wish you hadn't noticed that

Anakin: in my defense, I'm stress eating

Rex: so?!

Anakin: padme said we should take a break and I didn't know how else to cope

Rex: why would she do that?

Anakin: I ate all of her chocolate chip pancakes and she got mad

Rex: maybe you should talk to someone about it. Maybe general kenobi could help?

Anakin: obi wan won't talk to me either

Rex: why not?

Anakin: I used up his maple syrup for padme's pancakes

Rex: well that doesn't mean you can finish our entire supply of blueberry waffles

Anakin: sorry, but I had no choice

Kix: sure you didn't

Kix: NOW LEGGO MY EGGO

Anakin:  hey where'd my lightsaber go

Kix:  you'll get it back if you stop eating my waffles

Anakin:  well... shit

*2 days later*

Ahsoka:  master, why won't you train with me?

Anakin:  I think you need more practice using the force these days

Anakin:  and meditating.  You should meditate

Ahsoka:  yeaah... ok.  Where's your lightsaber?

Anakin:  lightsaber?  What lightsaber?

Ahsoka:  the blue laser sword

Anakin:  ohhh yeah that.  It's uhh, resting

Ahsoka:  what the hell

Anakin:  hey the kyber crystal needs a break every once in a while

Ahsoka:  that's a bunch of bs.  I know about that conversation you had with Rex and kix, master

Ahsoka:  it's time to stop eating the clones' waffles and get your lightsaber back

Anakin:  fine

Yeah I may or may not be slightly obsessed with blueberry waffles.
And I'm having way too much fun writing this book.