Star Wars Texts

babysitting 2 (wolfpack)

Anakin: hey Wolffe, have I ever told you what a great commander you are?

Wolffe: no

Anakin: well here's the thing... I, uh...

Wolffe: what

Anakin: I need you to babysit my kids

Wolffe: what?! No no no. That's not happening. I cant babysit your kids

Anakin: i don't like this either, but I have no other choice

Wolffe: no other choice? What about Rex?

Anakin: he's in sickbay. Hardcase served him blue 501st themed donuts. Turns out Rex is allergic to blue food coloring

Comet: ironic

Wolffe: what about Cody?

Anakin: offworld

Wolffe: grrr

Anakin: you're babysitting my kids, Wolffe. That's an order

Wolffe: but I don't wanna

Anakin: I already talked to Plo. He's gonna make you do it

Wolffe: ...

Anakin: if you don't agree to do this right now, I'm gonna have threepio accompany you while you're babysitting

Wolffe: FINE

Wolffe:  where is the little nutcase

Anakin:  hold on

*anakin disappears and comes back with Luke on a baby holder thingy strapped to his chest*

Anakin:  Wolffe, this is Luke

Wolffe:  should've named him Puke

Anakin:  I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that

Anakin:  and this is...

*spins around to show leia in a baby carrier thing on his back*

Anakin:  LEIA

Wolffe:  HOLY FORCE THERES TWO OF THEM

*anakin takes off baby carrier things*

Anakin:  okay they're in your care now have a nice day Wolffe and byeeeeeee

Wolffe:  I didn't know there were two of them!!!

Comet:  but didn't we all go the baby shower...?

Wolffe:  so?  I forgot they were twins.  Big deal

Sinker:  it kinda is a big deal...

Wolffe:  whatever, I'm sure the kids will be fine, I'm just going to go on with my normal day

*Wolffe pulls out a machete*

Boost:  O_O

Sinker:  Uhh, since when did-

Comet:  YOU HAVE A MACHETE???

Wolffe:  of course I have a machete, how else am I gonna open all of these coconuts?  *points to kitchen counter full of coconuts*

Warthog:  that's a lovely bunch of coconuts you've got there, sir

Sinker:  I don't think this is safe for the kids...

Wolffe:  they're just coconuts

Sinker:  not the coconuts wolffe, I'm talking about the kriffin MACHETE IN YOUR HAND

Comet:  speaking of the machete, where did it go?

*machete floats in the air and goes to Leia's hand*