Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

E I G H T

I got home and undressed immediately. I heard when my cell phone fell to the floor. I caught it already unlocking the screen to see what had happened while I was away from it.

My WhatsApp was overflowing with unread messages, one of the most recent was one of his. I opened the conversation more out of curiosity than anything.

Yoongi

Yoongi
I wanted to talk to you.
16:54

I didn't know how to react to that message and that's why I didn't. I left the conversation leaving him on seen, read some group chats and went to my room.

I'm going to my mom's house for Christmas. She says she is thrilled to see me, but all this strikes me as false, as I have seen her on Sinterklaas day. I knew she really wanted to see me to know if I'm still doing good.

Since last summer has been like this... since I had a few anxiety attacks at work and also one at the supermarket, when I was taken to the hospital with symptoms of a heart attack.

She wanted me to stay with her for a while, but honestly, a lot of my triggers come from her. She is not responsible for my anxiety, nobody is. But she also doesn't understand how to deal with me and ends up making the situation worse.

I was always a nervous child, a volatile teenager, and I became an extremely distressed and fearful young adult. After college everything got worse, until the crisis started.

Admitting that you suffer from a disorder, no matter how common it is, is not simple. I don't think I carry the stigma that many do because of that, but accepting my condition was not an easy thing for me and sometimes, even today, I feel that my friends and others around me are watching me to see if I will have another fit in the middle of the street. It bothers me and that's why I'm already in a bad mood, predicting what this week will be like at my mother's house.

beste meijses
December 21

Roos
My god, this woman met me
at the station already criticizing my hair.
Can I leave now?
10:36

Lotte
You're already gone?!
I thought you would go later...
10:40

Roos
I've come early today to return
home as soon as possible
once Christmas is over.
10:41

Maud
Try and breathe!
It's only 5 days, right?
10:43

Lotte
That's it! Focus at the end
of that time there.
5 days go by fast.
10:44

Roos
Argh, seriously. We are locked
in the house and she follows me around
with her eyes and physically too
the whole time. 5 days is too much.
I can't even go to the bathroom in peace.
10:45

Lotte
Roos, count on us.
Use this group chat of ours to
ventilate anything and everything
you're feeling.
10:45

Roos
Thank you, my love.
10:46

Maud
Yes! Count on us!
I'll meet you at the station on
the 26th as soon as you arrive
just to give you a hug.
10:48

Roos
Aw! You are very lovely.
Thank you both.
Get ready for my outbursts.
10:50