Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

F O R T Y F I V E

Jaap kept asking me out, but he couldn't get me to accept.

It had been two months since we had fallen into this dynamic and to end our suffering I asked him to go to dinner with me at Sultan's.

We placed our orders at the counter and I sat at the table in the corner. Jaap was going to sit next to me, but I put my bag on the bench, making him take the seat across from me.

"Jaap. This is not a date." I said seriously, but softly. His expression dropped slightly, but he nodded. "I'm not ready for a date with anyone."

"Okay. I can wait for you to be ready." He smiled sweetly. His big, round green eyes shone lovely.

"When I'm ready, I'll let you know." I smiled at the man in front of me.

"Oh yes?!" He exclaimed as if after so much insistence he was not ready to hear that.

"You're already a good friend, that's an advantage, isn't it? And you're not ugly, either." I laughed and he poked his tongue at me.

Jaap was a man who met all the requirements to be a terrible type of man: tall, handsome and stylish. Usually guys like him forget that they also need to have character and personality, but he's not like every other guy. He was fun, dedicated and sweet. Even though I wasn't ready to go out with him and even though I might never see him as he would like, spending time with him could be enjoyable.

We ate while talking about our childhood and school days. He was actually 3 years older than me and had done the VWO in high school. We talked about differences in teaching and problematized the Dutch educational system which is one of the bases for the social discrepancies that exist in our society.

We walked to PH and he waited with me outside while I finished smoking.

It was late November and autumn was getting heavy. It was raining a lot and the nights were long enough for us to think seven in the evening was ten at night.

We walked in together and left our warmest coats on the coat rack at the entrance. Jaap went to the bathroom and I stopped at the counter to order our drinks. Nanook was at the other end and was looking at me casually. I nodded at him while Hank returned with the two beers I had ordered.

It was still early, so I crossed the empty room with little difficulty, but when I got to my table I was not able to sit.

Lotte was looking at me, standing there and holding two beers, her eyes alarmed. In front of me, sitting with their backs to me, were Yoongi and Jimin. Dirk emerged from the conversation he was having with them and the color drained from his face.

Their reaction made Yoongi turn around to see what they were looking at and his small eyes widened.

I bit my lip to keep my face from reacting on its own. I turned and went back to the counter, finding Jaap halfway through and taking him to another table.

"Aren't your friends here today?" He asked me, confused.

"They are."

"So why don't we go sit with them?"

"Yoongi is here with Jimin..." I spoke quietly as if it were a secret.

"They are together?"

"I do not know." I said, shaking my whole body into a no.

"What the hell... do you want to go somewhere else?"

"I don't think it'll make any difference now. We've seen each other, they already know that I'm here and I know that they do too." I shrugged my shoulders, defeated.

Jaap struggled to distract me, but the more he tried, the worse it was. Evi and Maud stayed with us for a while at that table. And when I went out to smoke, Maud accompanied me.

"I just want to punch him on the face!" I heard Maud say it while I lit my cigarette.

"Don't talk like that, Maud. He's your friend, too."

"Yeah! But right now I'm mad at him!" She exclaimed quietly, getting closer to me.

"But why? We broke up so he could do just that and do it without cheating on me."

"I don't have all the spiritual evolution you have, Roos! He should have waited more, at least!"

"What evolution? I'm a wreck. I wish I was crying in the shower now." I said, trying to focus on the smoke that came in and then left my lungs. "But I don't think I would feel any different if I saw them together like this for the first time in a month or so... it's been two months already..." I gave her a sad smile and she pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, my dear. But you're going to get through this and you're going to be just fine." She said against my hair before letting go. "Can I ask you a question? Do you think you'll be able to be friends?"

"I don't know? We weren't friends before all of that, were we? He became my best friend while we were together, but I don't know what to do with it now." Thinking about it frustrated me.

"Maud." We both turned to the source of the voice that called her name. "Can I talk to Roos?"

"I don't think you have to ask me." She looked from him to me, and I said yes with my head.

Yoongi and I watched her go back into the bar in silence. When she was out of sight, he came to me.

"Are you alright?"

"You need to stop asking me that, because I think you know the answer."

"Maybe I don't know? I think in the end I was right, wasn't I?"

"What are you talking about?" I was clearly irritated by the tone he chose to use with me.

"You are here with Jaap..." He explained.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I never thought you were that type of sucker." I said dry. "I'm here with a friend. Can you say the same?" He looked at me confused and I continued. "You have no right to be jealous. I always played fair with you and we broke up for you to do the same to me."

There was pain in his eyes and I didn't know what to do with it. He had no right to claim anything from me.

"I am also here with a friend." He finally spoke.

"Cool. You guys can do whatever and I'm not interested, because I know it's only a matter of time before this changes" I said, still irritated and I turned around, taking the butt of my long-gone cigarette with me.

I walked over to Jaap who was now talking to Grietje and Julian and announced that I was leaving. He looked at me, clearly he wanted to stay and I told him it was okay.

As I took my coat off the rack I felt his eyes on me.

Yoongi watched me from a distance, but the sensation of his eyes on me was an old acquaintance of mine.