Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

F I F T Y F I V E

I spent Monday pondering the best time to talk to Jaap and regretting missed opportunities.

We were in the pantry, having lunch, when I decided that this would be an opportune time.

"Jaap, will you accompany me outside to smoke?"

"Ah, Roosje, I'm going to take the rest of lunchtime to deal with some personal issues."

"Ah, that's alright. We'll talk later then." I said getting up.

When work finally ended, Jaap came charmingly to my side.

"Will you dine with me today?" His big eyes were inviting.

"I need to talk to you." I said seriously. "Did you come by car?" He heard me with a confused expression.

"Yes, do you want to go somewhere?"

"Nowhere specifically. I just want to talk to you."

"But don't you want to have dinner with me...?" His statement was also a question. I bit my lip, hesitating.

"I think you won't want to have dinner with me after what I have to tell you."

"I'll take you home, come with me and you can tell me what you want to." His expression was hard. He already knew what I was going to say, but he needed to hear it.

He drove in our silence, I didn't have the courage to do that without having his full attention.

"We're here." He turned to face me when he said that.

"Jaap. I promised I would let you know when I was ready..."

"And you think you rushed in?"

"No." I said and bit my lip. "I think I'm ready, but I'm not falling in love with you." I kept my eyes on his, in an act of courage.

"Maybe it will take longer?" He asked, wanting to believe it would be possible.

"I don't think it will happen." I said softly. "I like you so much! But as a friend."

"But our chemistry is good, isn't it?"

"I like being with you, Jaap... But we're not going in the same direction and I don't think it's fair to either of us that we prolong this."

He realized that just as he didn't get me to fall in love with him, he couldn't convince me to keep trying.

He made a subtle movement, nodding that he understood my message. He bit his lip, eating his mouth inside and swallowing his words.

Turning to the door, he got out of the car quickly and I found him behind the vehicle, ready to take my bike from his hands.

He came over and lowered his head towards my face and I let him kiss me. His last kiss was a sweet farewell with all his character. Loving and faithful.

I waited for his car to disappear from my sight and then I got on the bike and cycled to PH.

I crossed the street to the cafe and ate a bowl of kip nuggets while watching people arrive. I saw Maud arrive and wait for Evi at the door for about 5 minutes. She looked at me and smiled, making me smile back. Julian arrived practically at the same time as Evi and the three entered together.