Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

T H I R T Y T W O

Lotte was lying on the floor in the living room of Maud's house. Her legs were propped up on the sofa seat and her feet were wrapped around mine.

Maud was smoking a joint with my head resting on her legs. She blew smoke up and gasped when she heard Lotte say,

"I miss you. It was a long time since the three of us were alone." Lotte started a new subject.

"It's true," Maud said between coughs, "I think it's unheard of for all of us to be in serious relationships at the same time. It distracts us."

"I'm not," I observed.

"Hasn't he brought it up yet, Roos?" Lotte stopped looking at the ceiling to look at me, but her eyes were relaxed.

"No... And there's no need to, right? We are together, but sometimes I miss that he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend and I feel really bad for not having the initiative to talk about it with him."

"And why don't you take the initiative?" Maud questioned "if it makes you feel bad from time to time..."

"Ah, you've heard about how I have a voice in my head that tells me only bad things all the time, right? I'm afraid." I shrugged and took the cigarette from her hand.

"Sis, you've been together for several months. Is it fear of being rejected?"

"That's what I was afraid of..." Lotte sighed, but I chose to ignore what she said.

"So, we're together and we're fine and that's just an insecurity I have. I don't know, I think that part of me gets stuck in these conventions, a romantic desire completely unfounded in reality... but does he really need to ask me to date so we can be dating? When people say we date, he doesn't deny it. But he doesn't call me his girlfriend. "

"What does he call you?" Lotte took his feet off the couch and sat next to Maud's legs, placing her face next to mine.

"Partner."

"This is more than a girlfriend, isn't it?" Maud pondered. Once again I shrugged my shoulders, biting my lip.

"I think it is. But it makes it look like you already live together."

"Ah, but Lotte, it's practically like this. Only they live together in two different houses." Maud laughed.

I passed the joint to Lotte and settled down to sit on the couch.

"Anyway..." I cut off her laugh. "I think it's better to let go and focus on the relationship itself, right? He even told me in the beginning that he didn't want labels, what he wanted was to be with me. And I agree. But that irrational little voice in the back of my mind keeps telling me the opposite."

"Did you mention that in therapy?"

"Yes! I did... the conclusion is that I am in a healthy and safe relationship and that makes me happy. I just haven't figured out how to shut up that voice yet."

"Everything is going to be good, my friend. Relax about it, don't let that insecurity become an insecurity in itself, you know?" Lotte put her hand in mine and I smiled at her. She was right.

"But enough about me."

Lotte said she will move in with Dirk in two months time, when the contract for the apartment she lives in expires. Maud was not surprised.

"You are very fast in your relationships, ugh." She pretended to be disgusted.

"What do you mean? Me, Roos and you are in the same phase of the relationship, I am not much faster than you."

"So you're wrong, my dear, Evi and I have been together for almost 2 years, between comings and goings... of course, not as dramatic as yours with Dirk." She said with a sly smile and Lotte dropped her jaw in disbelief. She looked at me for the same reaction as hers, but I wasn't surprised.

"What? I knew it."

"Wow, I'm feeling left out now!"

"I only knew because I saw them making out several times over the course of that time. It surprises me that you didn't know."

"I did not know! Where did you see them together?"

"Well, at the PH, at the station, at the market... in different parts of the city" I laughed, because the list was long.

"It was good that someone knew, but it wasn't something to be known, you know Lotte?" Maud said seriously, looking for understanding in her friend's eyes.

Lotte took a deep breath. And she accepted the explanation she received.

>>>><<<<

I cycled aimlessly through the streets in the general direction of my home. I didn't want to go back there, so I decided to head for the woods. It was a pleasant late afternoon, the sun shining and making the wind less cold.

I let my body take me and I was not surprised when I escaped from the woods in the park behind his house.

Yoongi

Roos
Are you at home?
17:03

Yoongi
Yes
17:06

Roos
Are you busy?
17:06

Yoongi
A little.
Are you at Maud's yet?
17:10

Roos
No.
I'm in the park behind your house.
17:11

Yoongi
Come here.
17:11

I put out the cigarette on the bench I was sitting on and dragged the bike around the block of houses where his is.

He was already at the door waiting for me when I arrived. He watched me as I secured the bike inside the fence in front of his house.

We walked in and I followed him to his studio. He told me that he was finishing some tracks for a Dutch folk singer and played some parts for me. I don't understand the first thing about making music, but watching him working was mesmerizing.

I stayed with him there for a while and then went down to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner. As soon as it was ready he appeared.

"Are you ready for another week of work?" He asked me while rolling some pasta over his fork?

"Not much. I'm a little scared. The way Theo spoke to me on Friday was bizarre."

"Did he pretend it was okay?"

"I don't know if it was a pretense. There is something wrong with that man."

"And what are you going to do now?"

"I do not know. For now I'm thankful that now I see my psychologist twice a week and hoping that my meetings with Theo are rare. But anyway, Jaap saw how I got on Friday and I told him the story, so maybe I have some support, I don't know, at work."

"Ah, yes. It's good to have some support." Yoongi said, looking away from me.