Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

F I F T Y F O U R

We arrived back at Hilversum shortly after lunch. I cycled home via an alternate route, stopping at the market and buying a salad to eat when I got home.

I took a shower and finished the salad, but I remained restless. I went to my room, taking off my robe and getting dressed. I put on a tank top, a sweatshirt set and a warm sock. In the hall I put on my boots and my winter parka and escaped through the door.

I cycled for about an hour until I gave up and went to PH. I didn't tell anyone about my plans and none of my friends were there.

I sat on the right side of the counter, where the stools were for customers who would drink right there, and a person I'd never seen before came towards me.

"Good afternoon. Are you ready to place your order?" The tall figure, with light skin and a hair longer than mine, almost as white as his skin was looking at me with a smile in his lips, framed by a mustache. His gray eyes just like mine were friendly.

"I want a glass of beer, please." The music at that time was still low, but my voice was so weak that I thought he wouldn't have heard it. He smiled again and turned his back.

"Roosje!" Hank appeared through a door between the drink racks. "Did you decide to show up?" He smiled, approaching.

"I'm here! I've always been here!" I smiled back.

"No... it's not enough." He was shaking his head. Hank was a middle aged man and all big. Body and heart. He was like that kind of uncle who is always in a good mood. "You don't come every night anymore."

"You should be happy that I have a life out of here!" I exclaimed good-naturedly, infected by his energy.

"Ah! I see you've already met Bram." He said as the man from earlier approached me with my beer.

"Not really, but he waited on me right now." I was still smiling. Turning to him, I continued "I am Roos."

"Nice to meet you" he answered, confused. "I'm Bram."

"Bram started here on Friday. But you wouldn't know that because you weren't here." Hank explained.

"I was in Antwerp, I went down there with the girls."

"Oh yeah, did you? Bram is Belgian" the older man said, pushing the youngest in my direction.

After some time there I went out to smoke and Bram accompanied me, deciding to take his break at that moment.

He walked with me to the edge of the sidewalk and lent me his lighter after lighting his own cigarette.

We went back inside the bar and I resumed my seat, while he took his position behind the counter. It wasn't long before Yoongi sat down next to me.

"I know what you asked of me." He said quietly, almost as if he was sorry to be doing what he was doing at that moment.

"And yet you can't respect it." I copied the volume of his voice, but I was somewhat alarmed, feeling trapped.

"I won't be staying long, nor will I insist." He paused to see if he had my attention. "I know that you're with Jaap now too." His voice was heavy with pain and having that perception made me look at him for the first time. I realized how much he really believed in that, in this idea that I liked Jaap.

"It won't last."

"How come?" His eyes shone in mine.

"Even though you opened this path for me to follow, I don't feel anything for him. Even after all that happened, I still see him as a friend and that won't change."

I told him this while keeping my eyes on his, I wanted him to see the truth that my words carried. He, however, looked away at his own hands on the counter, watching the fingers he used to poke the nails of other fingers, after hearing my last word. He was silent for so long that I thought he wouldn't say anything else. My desire to escape from there only increased at the same time that I felt I couldn't move.

"I'm not going to apologize to you... but I'm going to tell you that I'm sorry." He finally said, getting up from the stool he occupied beside me. "For everything. And deeply."

His words reminded me that the disgust I felt for him was caused by hurt. And in that moment, before he turned around and left me there alone again, I saw in his eyes that something also hurt inside him. He was also unhappy.