Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

S E V E N T Y T W O

I woke up with my body entwined with his. I kissed his warm chest and he stretched out under me.

We shifted together on the bed and he hugged me from behind, sniffing my hair. Bram's cuddle was cozy. He kissed the top of my head and then released me, standing up.

I heard him move things around in the kitchen and realized that he was making our breakfast. This realization made me stand up too. I found him barefoot, concentrating on what he was doing on the counter. I went to him and he smiled at me.

I looked at that perfect face, his pink lips, his broad shoulders, his defined torso, his straight and so light hair brushing his neck and shoulders... Hiss peaceful smile. I looked through him, I saw the good man he was. Fearless, carefree, interesting and passionate about so many things.

I wondered why I didn't love him.

"Roos?" His voice brought me back to reality.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to eat something sweet or salty?"

"Both?" I smiled at him and he rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm going to work this afternoon to cover the shift I changed yesterday, okay?" He warned me, placing the box of hagelslag and the container of cream cheese on the table.

"Yes..."

"What are you going to do today?"

"I don't know, I will see what is going on in the group chat. I don't want to be alone today."

"Good. Will I see you at PH tonight?"

"I think so. I'll text you." I replied, pouring too much chocolate over my buttered toast.

>>>><<<<

I was sitting in the middle of the living room of Tulip and Timo's small apartment, packing some books that Lotte had accommodated around me. They were going to leave the apartment complex next to the station to a house a little further away, close to where Yoongi also lived.

Seeing my friends moving into homes, getting married... thinking about space, made me realize that some priorities were changing. I secretly feared that I was falling behind. I didn't know if I would ever have those same priorities. I did not envision a life where being at the bar with them practically every night of the week was not a reality.

My leg was numb and I got up with some difficulty after closing the third box I had filled. The tingling went from my foot to my butt and I didn't know whether it would be better to hit my leg on the floor or sit on the couch and wait for it to pass. This feeling gave me a certain agony.

Tulip noticed my discomfort and came over, sitting on the couch and taking my leg to massage it.

"Don't sit on the floor anymore, Roosje!" She ordered me. "If you want to continue helping, you can put the pots on the balcony in a box that is already outside, okay?"

I took advantage of the fact that my job was now outside and away from the attention of others and sat at the small balcony table to smoke and scroll down on Instagram. The music playing inside was low in my ears, the doors closed to prevent the cold from entering. I had my body shrunk, my sweatshirt again was not enough to protect me from the cold of late October.

I heard the door open, but I didn't take my eyes off my screen until I saw my parka being placed in front of me. I lifted my head and Yoongi was there, dressed up properly, his hand reaching for something in his pockets.

"I thought you would benefit from that." He said, using his chin to point at my coat.

"Oh yes, thanks." I said, resting my cigarette on the edge of the table so I could put on the parka.

"Can I sit here?"

"Um hmm." I moved away so as to position my chair farther from his.

He smoked his cigarette in silence too, my attention had returned to my cell phone. He leaned towards the guardrail and then stubbed his cigarette's butt in a corner where two iron bars met. I heard him sigh and then he leaned back in his seat. He looked at me for a moment.

"Did you enjoy the show yesterday?" Hearing his voice was not a surprise to me, but his question was.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Yeah. It was really cool. What did you think?"

"I liked it too, I hadn't gone up on a stage to do that in eight years." There were traces of satisfaction on his face.

"It didn't seem like it. You did very well, as if that were your environment. " I admitted it.

"Hm..." he murmured. "Had you heard the mixtape before?" He asked, his eyes on mine. I felt my heart get heavy, like someone was squeezing it.

"Yes." I replied, reaching for another cigarette in the pack on the table, trying to keep myself busy.

"You never said anything." His gaze was now on the floor.

"I wouldn't know what to say, Yoongi." He shook his head up and down, signaling that he heard me. "But you did a great job."

"Did you see the lyrics?" He was clearly nervous, his fingers poked at the corners of some nails, his breathing a little too heavy.

"Yes, I did l..." I paused, I didn't know how to continue. "Yoongi? I don't know if I want to talk about it now, okay? " I asked, my voice soft. His eyes returned to mine, he nodded again.

He remained there, in silence, looking at the train tracks visible from the height the apartment was. I finished my cigarette, unable to return my attention to my phone.

I got up and opened the balcony door, returning to the apartment with my two cigarette butts in hand. I dumped them in the kitchen trash and told Tulip that I was already leaving. Maud met me near the door. She wanted to know if everything was okay and I assured her that it was.

I cycled home and in less than 10 minutes I was already inside my own apartment. I undressed trying to strip that image of Yoongi from my mind as well.

Did he want to tell me that he still loved me? Did he really still love me?