Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

S E V E N T Y F I V E

I was working on a book on female fertility for a few weeks now. I looked forward to each new chapter to review.

The most incredible thing about this job, for me, was how much I learned there. Sometimes I learned about myself, as in the case of this book, which helped me to understand my body's signals to get rid of the hormonal control that contraceptives have over us women and that silence a lot of who we are, in addition to bringing risks to our health; sometimes I learned about the women around me, other situations, other realities... and so I understood better how all around me are incredible and strong women, regardless of their particularities.

I turned off my computer and headed for the social room. Some of the other women were already there, waiting for the others. We would have our year-end office party.

Our group was not so small, we were fifteen in total and we had decided to have a party at the office, so we would have more freedom to talk, drink and socialize.

It was not long before the end of the day when we started to prepare the decoration to increase the Christmas atmosphere. Nikkie asked us to open a space between the sofa and the French doors, as she had hired a DJ to play at our party.

I put on my heavy coat and escaped to the terrace, taking care to avoid the little ice from the snow that accumulated there. It was an atypical December, as the whole year had been, and we had already been contemplated with a few days of fairly heavy snow.

I smoked while trying to gather energy for socializing. I loved being there in that place. It had been eight months of learning so far and all exchanges with the other women there, my co-workers, had been positive. But that kind of interaction was the kind that drained my energy quickly.

When I returned to the interior, Anne was crouched behind the table mounted between the sofa and the door through which I entered, she was helping the DJ to organize some cables and I didn't need much to recognize him. His peach hair falls messy over the shaved sides of his head in a completely rebellious and yet, controlled way.

I couldn't get past them without being noticed and after a few seconds absorbing the scene, I spoke, grabbing their attention.

"Hi." He turned when he heard my voice, his eyes a little wide in surprise.

"Roos! This is Yoongi. He's the DJ for tonight." Anne, as always, smiled politely. I found it amusing that she introduced us.

"Yes, we've known each other for years." Yoongi said casually, leaving Anne a little embarrassed and I smiled at them both, repeating my greeting and going to one of the sofas.

After my conversation with Dirk, I didn't have much courage to do anything about him. Yoongi obviously knew that I was no longer with Bram. It was impossible to retain that information from him. First because he used to go to my ex boyfriend's workplace almost daily and secondly because in my group of friends this kind of news spreads too fast.

Even though he was aware of my new relationship status, he didn't come to me either. It helped me to put things in perspective. Maybe Dirk was right and his Korean experience was healing, the mixtape was just a creative exercise to clean up his system from our relationship. What difference would it make for me to know for sure that I still love him if he doesn't love me anymore?

Yoongi spent the night without speaking to me after we greeted each other. He was careful to take turns with me on his smoking escapes, but I saw that he laughed when I got a cigarette case with space for the lighter in a pattern so kitsch of what looked like a collage of pictures of porcelain dogs. The wallet was incredible and practical, but I would never have the courage to use it in public. Still, I thanked Thereza, our trusted colleague in the finance department, for her secret Santa gift to me.