Temptation [ Min Yoongi | ENG ]

F O R T Y E I G H T

It didn't take me even five minutes to realize that I had made a mistake by going to the new nightclub.

The space was completely enclosed, there was no window and only one door gave access to the place and it served as the exit too. Everything was black, except for the dim lights in the bar and the bright, neon lights on the dance floor. There were a few high tables in the far corner of the door, but there were really no chairs and no suitable place to sit.

As the place was new, it seemed to me that all the youth from Hilversum and the region was there that night. There was even a line outside, but Yoongi assured us with his contacts that we would not wait in the cold weather.

The loud music was a repetitive EDM and the hits I was taking from other dancers didn't improve the situation.

I headed towards the door with some difficulty, I no longer had the mental energy to ask anyone to excuse me and let me pass.

As I pushed people out of my way, my despair grew. Suddenly I felt a hand clench my wrist and I looked back for who would do that to me at that time. I saw Nanook there, attentive, and he saw the panic in my eyes.

He approached and without speaking anything took the lead making way more easily than I was.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the cold night air hit my face. Nanook was saying something next to me, but I couldn't process it properly.

He released my wrist and put his hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently.

"Roos?!" I managed to tune his voice.

"Hi!" I exclaimed trying to disguise my situation.

"Give me the cloakroom ticket, I'll get your things." He said to me still softly.

"No, I'm not leaving now."

"Are you going back inside?!" He questioned me.

"No..."

"Then let me go and get your coat. It's too cold."

He returned dressed in his coat and with mine in hand. I accepted it awkwardly. I always saw him at PH, but the last time I talked to him was months ago, when I left him talking to himself in the cafe. He hasn't approached me since that day, until now.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I zipped up my winter parka.

"No problem. Do you really want to stay here?"

"Yes. I'm just going to light a cigarette. Thank you, Nanook... you don't have to stay here with me."

"I'm not going to leave you here to smoke alone after seeing you almost have a fit in there."

"I'm fine now."

"What was going on?"

"I have generalized anxiety disorder. Sometimes places like this are a trigger for me. But really, I'm fine. You helped me out before something bad happened."

"Why were you alone? Yoongi didn't come?"

"He did. He's inside with his girlfriend."

"Wasn't that you?"

"For anyone who felt so familiar with the loving dynamics of my group of friends, you need to catch up." I said dryly, hit by a twinge of pain in my chest because I had never been Yoongi's girlfriend.

He watched me in silence.

"No, we broke up at the end of September."

"And is he already dating another one? I knew he always went out with a lot of people, but I thought you guys had something more intense..."

"My God Nanook. Be quiet." I said, a little angry. "We broke up and he's with her and that's it. I won't explain anything to you."

"Sorry..." there was shock in his voice, but I didn't apologize to him for the tone I used.

We were silent while I smoked, but he didn't leave my side. I stubbed out the cigarette on a pole and looked around for a trash can to throw its butt away. Nanook pointed to a corner and walked there by my side.

He asked me if I was hungry and I knew what that meant. I knew that staying with him would be wasted time. I knew that although he was not a bad person, he was not necessarily a good person for me either. But his invitation, at that moment, was attractive. I was tired of being alone and I was tired of feeling bad. I wanted physical contact ... I wanted to feel wanted and I wanted to feel pleasure and that was what he was offering me.

>>>><<<<

I was having breakfast with Nanook when my intercom rang. I answered it to hear Yoongi's voice on the other end, asking me to open the door.

He rang the bell to my apartment and I opened the door to see him a little wet from the falling rain, holding a small suitcase.

"I thought you were coming after lunch?"

"I had forgotten that we are going to have lunch with her parents in Den Haag..." His voice was almost a whisper.

"Ah, yes. Come in." I gave him space to enter my little hall and he took off his boots.

He arrived at the portal to my living area, but the sight of Nanook sitting at my table paralyzed him. I walked past him and fetched a backpack by the sofa. Returning to him, I handed it to him and he took it, still looking towards the kitchen.

"Can you carry the coffee maker by yourself?"

"Huh?" He finally looked at me, confused.

"The coffee maker. Can you carry it and the backpack?" I pointed to the counter.

"Ah. Yes. I'll put the backpack on my back... don't you want to keep it? "

"I don't drink coffee."

"Hm..."

He seemed lost in thought and I then went to my room and returned with a small box.

He looked at my hands and looked horrified.

"Roos?" He asked sadly. I chose not to tell him anything and just held out my hand to him, but he didn't take it.

"Yoongi..." I said and he looked at my face and then at Nanook, who seemed to want to disappear by the force of his own mind.

"Can we not do this in front of him?"

"Nanook, can you excuse us?" I said directing my voice to the other man in the room. He got up and, not quite sure what to do, disappeared through my terrace door. "Better?"

"Roos, you don't have to give me back..."

"This gift was meant to you to be with me always, Yoongi. This is no longer our reality. This necklace is no longer useful."

"But still... please keep it."

"Yoongi. I am making many concessions for you. I gave up on you because you deserve to have what you want. I did it because I love you. But I can't keep doing everything to make you happy. Then, no. I will not keep this necklace in my house reminding me of a promise that has not been kept."

My voice was low and as much as I liked to imagine that it also sounded calm, I know it didn't. It carried all the resentment I felt and it sounded almost cruel, because in that moment I wanted to hurt him.