Miserable at Best

Chapter 20: The Hell It Burns!

Author's Note:
Hey there! ^_^
I'm feeling well now yet still I'm sick. But I don't take that as an option to continue this part! ^_^
You know I love you and I can't make you wait for so long... XD lol! Don't mind it! XD just enjoy this!! ^_^

The next day, I woke up laying on the bed with an aching head and body. I look around and tried to remember what happened. But I quickly shake it off my head once my memory takes it back. Because then I realized it's not a good thing to do, and it will never be good for me.

I groan as I sit up from the bed. I rub my temple slowly trying to ease the pain in my head. Then I stood up and headed to the door deciding that I should start my day now. I met Dr. Arthur in the hall already dressed for his work. He was buttoning up his shirt when I caught his attention and he looked up at me.

"Oh, good you're already awake. I was about to check you and tell that I have to leave now." He smiled as he finished buttoning his shirt.

He then wore his coat and adjust it to fit on him. Then he smiled at me while folding its sleeves to his arms and buttoned it to keep in place.

"Well, I'm just gonna leave you for a while, okay?... The food is in the fridge. Just preheat it in the oven. If you're bored you can watch anything you want, or go out for a walk. The key is on the top of the fridge so you can lock the house when you leave." He paused and finished fixing himself. "But don't be out for so long." He continues, "The authority still don't know you're here... And so do the institution. So as possible as you can, don't let them see you. Or else they'll take you to somewhere else, maybe out of the town and you would be stuck there forever." He warned softly to me.

My eyes widened and I felt a bit scared after he said that. I don't want to be detained in a mental hospital for the rest of my life. I'd rather die than live a life like that. But I know he's only kinda kidding me, so I quickly gave him a smile and then nodded.

"Alright. See you soon!" He chuckled before he turned around and walked away.

I follow him downstairs and to the door. Then I watch him get in his car and waved to me before driving off. I sighed and smiled to myself. Dr. Arthur is such a very kind person. He somewhat reminds me of Andrej. And it makes me feel like missing him... No, I really do miss him.

I was about to shut the door when I caught something white across the street. I quickly shifted my head to look at it directly. But I ended up looking at the beige house that stands on the other side of the street, facing directly to the house where I'm in.

"Now even my sight is playing tricks on me." I chuckled softly to myself and completely get in and shut the door.

I sighed and walked into the kitchen. The first thing that caught up my sight are the notes and reminders that stick on the fridge. I read each one of it and most are composed of meeting schedules and appointments. There are also some bills of electricity and water but they're all from the last few months so I shrugged them off. I continued looking further on the notes until my attention was caught by a picture of Dr. Arthur with an old man standing beside him.

I look at the picture closely and found out that the man is his father. It is because I noticed that they have the same bright blue eyes that stares softly and lovingly. And there's a same bright smile across their lips that shows happiness and contentment very clearly. I also noticed that his Dad is also a doctor, because they're both wearing a lab gown in the picture and it looks like it was taken in the hall of a hospital. They both have they're arms around each others' shoulders and it is seen clearly that they are so happy and proud of each other. I suddenly remembered my Dad and all my memories about him.

Although he wasn't good to me in the last time that we were together, I still have memories in my childhood where he shows his good fatherhood to me. I still had time where I felt happy and had joyful moments with him. And I still felt his love for me when he was still around.

I know Dad didn't mean to hurt me before. It was just an emotional effect on him when my mother died. It was just so hard for him to accept that so he changed. But I know he still loved me, and I already forgive him from everything that he had done.

Tears start to well up in the corner of my eyes as my father's memory all flashed back in my mind. I touched the picture with my trembling fingers as if it is a picture of me and my Dad. And not a picture of Dr. Arthur and his father.

"I miss you Daddy... I really miss you... A lot..." I whispered to myself and the tears started to fall.

I quickly turn my head away and wiped my tears. I know I'm such a sober for the past days and until now but crying is not good for me this time. Because my head still hurts from having lack of sleep last night and I don't want to make it worse. I sniffed and fixed my eyes then walked up to the sink. I'm not that hungry but I know I really need food now, for I wasn't eating good for the past few days. So I decided to have some coffee and a bread and butter for this morning.

I sit on the table and began eating my breakfast silently. My eyes are glued on the wall in front of me as I take a bite on the bread. I didn't even realize I'm out on the blue once again so I accidentally hit my cup and a hot coffee spilled out on my thigh. I quickly got out of my trance when the hot liquid poured straightly on my jeans and burn the skin underneath it. I jumped off of my seat and ran into the bathroom to the fastest that I can. Then I turned the faucet on and quickly placed my burning skin in the running water.

I screamed and quickly took it away when the cold water hit my skin. They say that method is the first aid of burn, but why the hell it hurts so bad???

I tried it once again but this time, I become careful. Slowly, I put my thigh in the running water and let it soothe the stinging sensation in my skin. I bite my lip and shut my eyes tightly enduring the painful feeling on my skin. Then after cooling it off, I went upstairs to find some ointment to cure my burn more properly.

I went up the stairs and into my room like I'm lame. I only used the walls for balance as I walked down the hall and then I carefully sit down on the bed to avoid more complications.

I looked around finding something that I can use to cure my burn. But I only end up with nothing and still enduring the stinging feeling on my thigh. My eyes caught the side table and I quickly looked inside of its cabinets. But I didn't find anything that could help me so I sighed and hang my head down helplessly.

I forced myself to stand up and locked the door. Then I carefully took my pants off to see my burn. I gasped and nearly fell back when I saw the wound. My skin already started reddening and the swelling covers almost the whole part of my left thigh. The burn reaches from the uppermost part of my thigh to the skin above my knee. I didn't know the coffee poured widely onto me and the burn is as bad as this. So I sighed exhaustively and put my head on my palms with no idea what to do. I'm sure to myself this isn't only a first degree burn, maybe it is second or third.

I lamely walked back to the bed and sat on it. Then I carefully rub my still stinging skin as the tears start to fall on it. I quickly wipe them as they keep on falling because it hurts when they drop on the wound. But I also can't stop crying because I'm still not done on my emotional pain, and now I have another physical one added. I sob and cry softly as I stare on my wound. I really don't know why I'm always miserable in life. I don't know why this is happening, or why I keep having this kind of life. I know to myself I always do my best anytime, but it looks like my fate doesn't see it. For it always put me down, yet I never wished to have a troublesome life like this. Or neither I wished to be a drama queen.

We'll I'm tired of this kind of life, really. I want to stop it now... I want to change it. I want to have a peaceful and good life, I really want to get out of this shit now, and I'm really longing for a new life very much. Because I'm so tired... I'm so sick of this mess. I don't want to have this suffering and I cannot do it... I cannot stay in this hell anymore.

Author's Note:

I tried my best to be not so wordy here.. But please forgive me if I was! >/<
And sorry if it's bad or something like that... I feel it was..T_T
We'll I just couldn't think clearly so my figurative grammars there sucks! I know it, please forgive me! I'll just make it better next time, I hope. :-!
But still, hope you enjoy! :)