Forbidden Desires (18+)

3. We just held each other

"So that was Elsa.", Brett mutters, leaning back into the sofa. His thighs spreading apart as he got comfortable. I shouldn't have noticed that movement as much as I did, but I couldn't take my eyes off his delicious thighs. His head laid back against the back of the sofa as Charlotte climbed on top of him. He grunted but laughed, cuddling his daughter.

"Elsa is amazing.", She tells him and he places a kiss atop her head.

"Not as amazing as you, princess.", He mutters and she giggles, cuddling into his big chest. I can't even imagine how safe he made her feel, how safe and comfortable she felt wrapped in his large arms. "What's next on the list of things you girls do?", He asks, his gaze shifting to me.

I almost forgot how to speak when his piercing blue eyes met my boring, brown ones. I didn't have to speak because Charlotte hopped of his lap and started running to the kitchen, screaming. Screaming one word, and one word only.

"Cakes!"

Brett laughs and I chuckle alongside him, rising to my feet. I let out a soft groan at the feeling of moving my lazy muscles. "How long was I sat down for? My legs feel so stiff." I moan to myself.

"Not long.", He lies, his lips tugging upwards whilst he rises to his own feet in one powerful swift movement. How did he make it look so easy? When did he have the time to keep a body like that, seriously? He was working all of the time. He had to work out a lot to keep that muscular body.

"Show off.", I muttered under my breath, I knew he heard it because he chuckled.

We followed Charlotte into the kitchen to see her dragging one of the chairs to the countertop, to try and climb on and get the ingredients. I giggle when I watch Brett rush over to her and carry her to her feet, planting her back onto the ground.

"You could've hurt yourself, silly.", He told her, grabbing the ingredients from the cupboard with ease.

"That isn't fair you're bigger than I am, daddy!", She pouted, folding her arms across her chest.

"You will grow big and strong one day. I promise, but till then whenever you need to get something from high up, you ask me or Olivia-", His gaze finds mine, and he looks over my figure, until his gaze settles on my face. "Actually, just ask me.", He looks back down at his daughter.

Charlotte laughs hysterically, but I just sent him the hardest glare that I could muster up.

"I'm actually tall for a girl.", I shoot at him.

"Yeah, is that in comparison with dwarfs?", He teased. I glared at him some more.

"I'm five foot eight.", I reply, eyes staring straight at his.

"Such a small girl.", He teases me, just like he does with Charlotte. It should have made me sick but I couldn't help but to blush. I looked down and tried to supress the filthy thoughts that had quickly taken over my mind. He must've noticed because he let out a strangled cough and looked back towards the ingredients.

Thank god he wasn't looking at me anymore, I might've imploded if he had for much longer.

"She isn't small like me. She's tall like mummy was.", Charlotte said and I almost shrivelled up into a whole and cried right then and there. Brett said nothing, he stared down at the floor. He was stiff and still and so silent. So silent.

Brett still didn't say anything, even when Charlotte let out a small sigh. I had to step up here and say or do something. Anything. "Because your mummy and me are adults.", I whisper, crouching down in front of the five-year-old beauty. "When you get older, you will be just as tall as we are.", I promise her.

"And can I be pretty too? Like you?", She asks, sadly.

I narrow my eyes at her. "You already are pretty, Charlotte. You are very pretty.", I smile when I see her own lips tugging upwards.

"Thank you Olivia. I love you!", And with that she throws her arms around me. I stiffen for half a second, but quickly wrap my own arms around her and hold her to me. A few moments go by in complete silence and I know that Brett was just watching.

I know he heard his daughter say that she loved me.

I know it must have killed him.

But I didn't care. This little girl needed me. And so did Kyle. "I love you too, Charlotte. I'll always be here for you.", I whisper, unsure of whether Brett could hear. "I promise.", it was a lie. A promise already broken before spoken. I'd die before she did and she'd be without me, but until then.. She'd always have me and the option of speaking to me.

Even when she was a woman. I'd still look out for her. Always.

Brett still said nothing, still in shock from the mention of his wife coming from his daughters lips.

"Is mummy having fun in heaven?", She whispers to me. I swallow. Hard.

"Of course she is. She's baking all the cakes that you can imagine. She's watching TV every single day and she's listening to music and dancing and singing.", I tell her, pulling from the hug. I cup her tiny face with my hands. "She's watching you too and she is so very proud of you.", I smile, trying to stop the tears from falling down my face.

"She said that?", She asks, excited.

I shake my head. "No but I just know that she is. She loves you so much.", I smile.

"I love her too. I love you too, Olivia.", And then she was in my arms again.

I was trying so hard not to break down and cry, but it was difficult. When would this little girl be told that her mother had found out weeks before her death that she had cancer everywhere. That she was weeks - and days - away from being gone.

I couldn't imagine sitting down and telling her, that's for sure.

"Does she have her hair back in heaven? She really missed that.", And with those words, I hear Brett's breath hitch. I forced my gaze to stay on Charlotte.

"Oh yeah. She loves her hair, it's beautiful and blonde like yours.", I whisper, my voice shaking.

"But longer?", She asks, smiling.

"Yeah, just a little bit.", I say.

"Okay good. Can I go and ask Kyle if he wants to bake with us?", She asks. I nod and she hurries off out of the kitchen. I take this time to rise to my feet. I wanted to turn around and look at Brett, but I couldn't bring myself to. I didn't know what I'd turn around too.

But when I did, my heart gave in.

He was standing facing the counter, his hands gripping the edge of the countertops. His head was dipped down and his back was arched. He was breathing heavily. His eyes were shut tightly. I swallowed, not knowing what to say or do.

"Brett.", I breathe. He didn't move. He didn't even look at me. I wasn't sure he was breathing.

He still says nothing. His shoulders tense some more when I take one step closer, but that was it. Slowly, so slowly, I place my hand on his shoulder. I did nothing. I didn't squeeze or caress. I just laid it there. "Brett.", I repeat, a little louder this time.

It was as if he snapped out of whatever trance he was in, and his eyes snapped to mine. His head swivelled to face mine. His eyes glossy and red. Crying. He was crying.

I said nothing, I just wrapped my arms around the back of his head and pulled him to face me. He stiffened but I continued. I pulled him to me and I held him. I just held him. I didn't know what else to do.

He didn't touch me. His hands laid limp at his sides for the longest time. But eventually, I felt the light touch of his fingers on my back. One at the bottom of my spine, and the other on my shoulder blades. He held me too.

And we stood there, just holding each other, for minutes.

Neither of us spoke or moved, we just held each other.