Dresmp oneshots centered around Tommy (DISCONTINUED)

Dear, .... I don't know what to do

The therapy arc I was gonna write for Tommy but he died before I could type anything out but it's my world so I'm writing it now.

He chewed his lips as Puffy started her questions, "What did you think about l'manberg?" she started. His baby blue eyes turned to looks at his fingers, avoiding her eyes. "It was my home.."

There stood Tommy saluting in his uniform, smiling proudly with his pearly whites. 

"I fought for it to be free, for it to be independent.." 

Hesitantly he passed his disc into the admin's hand. 'For L'manberg'

"But now it's gone."

Biting his tongue he looked at his home, the land he fought for...

Tommy heard pen writing, he knew Puffy was taking notes on what he said. "Okay, then what about Wilbur?" He visibly flinched when he heard the name of his deceased brother. His lips were sealed shut, not speaking a word not wanting to answer the question. 

Silence hung in the air, Tommy was insecure that he wasted the sheep's time by not answering the question. So he was about to open his mouth when she responded with something he wanted to hear for years.

"It's fine, Tommy you don't have to tell me. There's always time for you to open up." She smiled gently. Tommy didn't have time, he was never given any. Everything that happened in his life flashed by, passing quickly before he could cherish it. Well, what was there to cherish?

"Tell me everything you can, because I can't force you to." He looked up to met her chocolate eyes, "Healing is a process Tommy, not something you can force." 

For the next hour, Tommy told her how he felt. How trapped, cornered he is. He told her the times he wanted to cry, breakdown, scream. But the people expected him to be strong, so he did. The kid forced himself to just take it all, retaliate because that's what he's been taught

The lesson he'd been taught was that the only language in the world people will get was violence. He shouldn't use words instead, speak with his fist.

He left many things out, the feelings of self-degradation, thoughts of disappearing, his violent outbursts, the voices who came and went. There were many things he didn't like sharing. 

The timer that puffy set up rang, its tringing interrupted Tommy's rant on his childhood. "Well, there goes our time" the alarm stopped its annoying noise. Puffy reached to the small table beside her chair, grabbing the thick book on it. She placed it in front of Tommy, sliding it closer to him. "Take it." with delicate fingers he took the beautiful book, "I want you to write in it." 

"Write what?"

"Anything. Your day, things you like, memories, to-do lists."

"Only that?"

"...I want you to write the questions I asked that you didn't answer, I want your truthful opinion. And when your ready I want you to show me." His fingers stopped hovering the gold embroidery on its spine. With a shrug he said ok, Tommy was also handed a bunch of envelopes raising a brow. "I also want you you to write to people, tell them things you wanna tell them"

He could do that, that's easy. Walking back to his dirt hill, thumbing the paper as he flipped its pages. With a quill, he started on his first letter.

Dear, Philza.

 ...I don't know what I should write because I..You probably won't even open this letter. But puffy said it was going to help. I don't know how but it should. She told me to write my feeling about you.

(I still want you back in my life)

 And honestly, I hate you. Typical I know. But I did try to love you. I did my best, but..there's just something in me that pulls. Maybe it's also because you put distance, that could be the case I guess.

You're still a (father) figure in my life. Just as someone who fucked everything up, and dug me a misery pit. And proceeded to bury me alive.

 When I was young I thought of you as my dad, you know? But I realized Wilbur was more of a parent than you will ever be. You just gave us a house and food. You were more of a provider.

I gave chances more than I should, really. Sometimes I just wonder. If my life would've been more peaceful if I were found by a different family. (or if I died in those woods you found me) What I'm trying to say is, I wish you didn't find me. Because this family is fucked to the core. And it started with you.

 I just..

 Those past chances shouldn't have even seen the sun.
                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        disowned (son)
                                                                                Your (son) Family member
                                                                                                                      Tommy.

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sorry this is the best I could :^( I might edit it later but its gonna be like this for now