I'll Fix Everything | Wangxian

Chapter twenty-eight

Wei Ying broke empathy, turning to Lan Zhan who for once, had terrible posture.

Head in his hands, fingers over his ears, Lan Zhan cried silently. He'd never felt so disgusting in his life, he was so filled with shame, he wanted to hide away forever.

He had done what his father had done.

If Wei Ying hadn't come back, or, even if he hadn't seen those memories, he would have done it again.

Lan Xichen sighed, painfully aware of why Wangji felt just so bad.

They were not the product of love, or wanting, or consent.

Patting his brother's back, Lan Xichen's heart broke at his stuttering breathes, "Wangji..." He breathed out, unsure of what to say.

He couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice.

Lan Zhan whimpered for a split second before getting up and rushing out of the room, tears still cascading down his cheeks.

Lan Xichen and Grandmaster Qiren were quick to follow, pale and worried for the youngest Lan who hadn't cried like that for years.

Lan Zhan rushed to the Jingshi, slamming the doors shut behind him and rushing to the bathroom to vomit the disgust in his stomach.

He felt sick, all these years, he had resented men like his father, he had been strict on the disciples who had the nerve to treat women like that, and then he had become a man like that.

A version of him, that still existed somewhere inside, that would have acted again if it weren't for seeing the consequences, had forced himself on someone. And not just anyone, but Wei Ying, his soulmate, someone who had already been suffering with the horrors and aftermath of that kind of assault.

Assault.

He had sexually assaulted his soulmate.

Lan Zhan wretched, writhing he cried as he puked his insides out.

His mother had been destroyed by what his father had done, what his teacher had done, she had been locked away because of self-defence. It had impacted her terribly until she just broke, it had impacted himself and his brother, his father was a monster blinded by love, and he had become the same.

"A-Zhan!" He barely heard before a hand began rubbing his back, "A-Zhan, it's okay, you're not like that."

Gasping for air, Lan Zhan wiped his mouth with a towel nearby before turning to his brother, "Xiongzhang, he was terrified!" Lan Zhan wailed, "I-I pinned him, struggling, against a tree and kissed him until he was crying!"

Lan Xichen's heart ached, "Wangji. I am not excusing your actions. They were beyond wrong," He began, making Lan Zhan sob harder, "But you misunderstood and you would never ever do it again, huh?"

Lan Zhan rapidly shook his head, "Xiongzhang I could not." He whimpered, bringing his knees to his chest, "X-Xiongzhang, I-I'm just like our fath-"

"No!" Lan Xichen shouted, "You are nothing at all like him, you are kind, A-Zhan, and fair and brave and right, you just misunderstood," He said softly, moving aside his baby brother's hair gently, "And while yes, you did something very wrong, you would not make the same mistake again. And knowing you, you'll spend the rest of your life making up for it."

Lan Zhan sighed, nodding, he allowed his big brother to hug him tightly, "X-Xiongzhang, h-how am I going to face him, knowing what I did?"

Lan Xichen rubbed his back, "With bravery, A-Zhan."

***

Wei Ying sighed, watching Lan Zhan leave before snuggling into Yanli's arms who pulled him close and kissed his hair, "How are you feeling, Xianxian- and don't lie to Shije..." She said softly.

Wei Ying gulped, curled into a tiny ball, "Well..." He muttered, unsure of how to begin or what to say. He hadn't ever opened up before? How did he start?

Wen Qing smiled a little, reaching and taking his hands, "When dealing with assault victims, usually, I ask them first how they feel physically, and what I can do to make them feel more comfortable."

She was gentle as she spoke, but, Wei Ying flinched nonetheless, looking down at his feet like a scolded child, "...Victim?" He murmured, biting his bottom lip hard.

Yanli hugged him tighter, "You're a survivor Xianxian... be brave for Shije, what can we do- how- how do you feel sweetheart?"

Wei Ying's throat closed up a little, he was always weak to gentle treatment, especially from his Shije, "I-Icky..." He stammered, "I... I'm scared to f-fight in this war again I... I'm tired of f-fighting Shije..." He whimpered, hiding in his knees as tears dripped down his cheeks.

Yanli's heart shattered, "It'll be okay Xianxian..." She promised, beginning to sway them side to side, "We will protect you this time..."

Jiang Cheng sniffed, crawling over and hugging Wei Ying too so he was hidden, just like he likes, "I won't fail you again, Shixiong." He promised, and for the first time ever, used the brother honorific.

Wei Ying sobbed, keeping a hand in Wen Qing's, and intertwining other with Jiang Cheng's, finally able to cry in his family's embrace, "I-I feel l-like I'm falling all the ti-time and I-I'm just waiting to hit the ground!" He cried, heart-wrenching cries shaking his figure, "At n-night all I can h-hear is the w-wind by my ears a-and Wen Chao t-throwing me into the Burial Mounds- I'm tired!!" He wailed.

Jiang Cheng grit his teeth, hugging his big brother tighter, "I'll kill him, I wont allow him near you." He growled, thirsty for Wen blood, "And we'll win this war... and nobody will leave you this time..."

Wei Ying whimpered, hiccuping, he curled up tighter, Jiang Cheng spoke again, "And we'll both have our golden cores this time, we'll always be the Twin Prides of Yunmeng."

Wei Ying laughed a sob, this Jiang Cheng still loved him.

This Jiang Cheng would see himself murder his brother.

Wei Ying bit his lip, sniffing, should I say something? He wondered.

Wei Ying sighed, shaking his head and closing his eyes he contemplated for a few minutes, "Jiang Cheng..." He began, snuggling closer, "You... You should kn-"

The doors to the healer's den opened again and the Lan's walked in.

Wei Ying gulped, uncurling from his family's embrace, he stood and met Lan Zhan halfway, "Lan Zhan..." He whispered, eyes venturing over Lan Zhan's face, he looked ill, as if he had been throwing up, "A-Are you okay?"

Lan Zhan kept his eyes down at the floor, "Wei Ying..." He began, breath trembling through his pink nose, his red eyes watering, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry for doing what I did... I never thought I could do something like that..." He muttered, voice breaking, "A-And for making you feel judged- I could never judge you... I am incapable."

Wei Ying smiled softly, heart thumping as he wrapped his arms around Lan Zhan's neck, grinning at the gasp he heard, "It seems there have been plenty of misunderstandings..." He said into Lan Zhan's ear, resting the urge to laugh in glee when Lan Zhan hugged him back tightly, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

"Wei Ying..." He whispered shakily, hugging him tighter, "I do not deserve your forgiveness..."

Wei Ying's heart shattered at the trembling, breaking voice that was too feeble for his Lan Zhan, "Trust me... if there is anyone who does, it's you." He promised, humming when he was hugged tighter, the hold protective.

"I'll protect you from now on Wei Ying, I-I promise." Lan Zhan whispered, making him smile.

"I know you will." He whispered back, staying in the hold until Lan Zhan pulled back with wet eyelashes and quivering, pouty lips.

Wei Ying smiled softly, "C'mon, I would like to finish empathy this year," He guided Lan Zhan to sit next to him, "Wen Qing," He called, turning to her, "You're about to appear."