A Taste of You || TaeJin [Completed]

56. Fix You

Seokjin’s P.O.V.

Tae wouldn’t let go…his arms still holding me tightly to himself.

“It’s okay…” I spoke into his head trying to get his heavy repressed sobs down but it only seemed to make it worse, his shoulders kept spasming as he continued crying on my shoulder, hiding his face in my neck as I felt the wetness of his tears seep through my shirt.

“Calm down Tae…it’s alright…” I haven’t stopped caressing his back for even a single second, hoping to help him feel that I meant every word I said. He doesn’t have to fear losing me, if that is the only fear he had which had made him do reckless things then the only way to make him feel comfortable to open up to me is by assuring that he got me, I’m not going to run away ever again.

“I-It’s n-not…” he finally spoke, words broken and heavy, spaced with hiccups. This is really new to me because truthfully I have never seen this Taehyung, and I actually feel so blank and pained to see him like this, cursing myself for being such an ass…I guess we both had to learn how not to hurt each other to know how to finally love.

“It’s really n-not alright…I’m so sorry…so sorry…I never m-meant to hurt you…I’m so sorry” he kept rambling and sobbing in broken muffled words. Tears rolled down my cheeks in their own volition as I heard him speak, the pain in his words more than evident. I decided to wait, to let him get it off of his chest…I can tell he needs to…

“I d-didn’t want you to think that I wanted to fool you…I just wanted you to see me and love me and be mine…” I felt his hands caressing my hips now, being still coiled warmly around me as he spoke “I was wrong…I was so wrong…for everything I did to you…I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve to go through all that hurt I inflicted on you…please forgive me Jin…” his sniffles broke out again as he continued “I feel so weak and ashamed for hurting you like that, believe it or not, you’ve forever been my strength and to think I had broken you…it killed me…it wasn’t supposed to be like this…I did it all wrong! I was supposed to make you happy and let you be your best just like you made me want to be…and now I’ve ruined everything! I can’t take this anymore…” he was grumbling and sobbing and nuzzling deeper into my neck “I know I deserve it but please don’t ignore me…it makes me feel like trash, I had lived with that feeling for years before I met you and I hate that feeling…I really hate that feeling Jin…I don’t-”

I realized his breaths were revving up and his arms tightening almost painfully around me, he was probably feeling agitated again and I had to take things in my hands for now.

“Hey…” I pulled back a little forcibly now, cupping his face because he denied to let me look at him but when I tilted his face up I could see what a mess he looked, making my heart wrench and gulp in worry “Tae, it’s okay now…I know” I spoke softly trying to calm him down “just promise me you won’t try to hide anything from me ever again, okay?”

He looked at me with a penetrating gaze before leaning in to rest his head on me again “okay” his voice was calmer now. I smiled to myself to see him be so pliant…so unlike the bossy demanding guy he had been earlier.
Well, it was very late in the night so I decided we needed some rest after such a tiring day, and he hadn’t even had his dinner yet.

“You should go and have your food Tae” I advised as I tried to get off of his lap however he denied to let me move, arms still holding me in place needily.

“T-Tae-“ “You don’t hate me right?” I could feel the words seep through me as I remembered all those times I had been annoyed at him, infuriated beyond measure, terribly hurt or simply just done with his antics but to be really honest I never actually hated him.