A Taste of You || TaeJin [Completed]

46. Paper Hearts

Taehyung’s P.O.V.

I shut the door to the study and froze, I can feel the awfully tightening pain in my chest but know that I deserve every bit of it.

I don’t know what I was thinking. All I remember was feeling very angry…how can he talk about cutting ties with me just like that?

I don’t know how to get that look of fear in his eyes out of my head, I can’t believe I lost control like that.

“Shit…” I grasp at the edge of the desk, my knuckles growing white with anger at myself as well as out of fear. I have successfully ruined everything I worked so hard to build with him.

I agree I have done wrong…I know it was stupid but look at how he just took the first chance he could get and tried to throw away everything to the wind and run away from me!

“Go anywhere you want?? What the hell were you thinking?!” I grumbled to myself, slapping my palm on my temple “like you’d be able to watch him go away from you…” I cursed at myself knowing full well how badly I needed him to stay, I am sure I’ll go crazy if I can’t see him every day…those four days that I had to stay away when he left me alone on our honeymoon had taught me how messed up my head got when I didn’t have him around me. Whenever I hear him say things about staying away from me I feel this immense need to hold him close…I really don’t like the idea of staying away from him.

He is going to run away from me…isn’t he?

I can’t even blame him if he wants to flee, god why? Why am I like this?! Why did I have to create all those contracts? Why did I have to be so demanding about acquiring him? Why couldn’t I be just like him? Why doesn’t he need me like I need him?

He called me sick and disgusting…

I’d call me disgusting too, it was a pathetic attempt to overpower him to make him give in to me. I hate myself for hurting him, it was the one thing I promised myself I’d never do! I can’t believe I actually attacked him!

“I’m not sick…” my fists shook as tears blurred my vision, it’s a reaction that takes over whenever I feel threatened. I get severely violent and try to ensure that things are exactly the way I want them. It was something that build up within me as a reaction to all the anger and grief that I felt when I was made to silently watch how my uncle got away with murder and even the law didn’t bother to hear me out and help my parents find justice. I have no control over it although I try my best not to give in, and its non-existent when I get what I want.

Jin just happens to be the one who can get the best as well as the worst out in me and I feel pitiful for losing control and hurting him like that.

I felt my breath catch as I lost strength in my legs and knelt down. This moment seems to be the very lowest of my life. It took me so long to get out of the hopelessness of loss, years to finally settle back into normal life and finally found a new dream and hope when I found him….and now I’m a clueless good for nothing piece of shit again…he’s going to hate me so much…

I heard footsteps in the hallway, steady and decided as I hear him march down the stairs.

My mind goes into severe panic when I hear the front door shut with a bang and instantly haste out of the room, hurrying down the stairs and calling after him when I heard the car start.

“Jin!!” I throw open the door to dash into the driveway, only to see his dead cold eyes set on me for a moment before he was backing the car out.

“Jin please” I ran up, grabbing mindlessly at the front of the car to grab his attention, desperately hoping he had the slightest affection left for me to stay.