Always, Astoria

43. Draco

                                      
1997

Draco sat in the astronomy tower until nightfall. The memories of Astoria's body in the clutches of Snape pestered his immediate thoughts. Draco began to pick at the open cuts on his knuckles and watch the blood spill down his arm, and past his dark mark.

"It's all your fault." He said speaking to the skull-locked mark on his forearm.

Draco paced back and forth along the metal ground and as he was about to bash is good fist onto the wall, he heard footsteps on the stairwell. He stopped in his tracks and peered toward the stairs.

"What are you doing up here, mate? Tis' nearly two in the morning." Theo said while looking exhausted.

"Leave me alone, Nott. Right now, is not the time." Draco spat while leaning against the railing.

Draco wanted to be alone with his thoughts, and wallow in self-pity. His coping strategies proved endlessly to be less prudent, but that never stopped him from denying help from his peers.

"Tell me what troubles you. You look like shit, Malfoy." Theo admitted.

Draco scoffed and snorted. He began to laugh in defeat and peered up at Theo.

"I fucked up. It is my fault. I told her I would get her out of this servitude. I did the fucking opposite." Draco said while punching the wall once more with his already bloody knuckles.

Theo ran over to try and stop his swinging arm, but Draco batted him off.

"IT'S MY FAULT!" Draco said as his chest began to heave, and he slid against the wall.

Theo looked confused but was also trying to understand what Malfoy was explaining to him. Theo was aware of who Astoria was, and what her life-sentence was to the Dark Lord, however he was kept in the dark regarding the procedure in the Shrieking Shack.

"Where is Tori?" Theo asked slowly while trying not to set Malfoy off once more.

Draco took a few deep breaths, gathered his thoughts, and peered up at his friend.

"He has her. Granger and I tried to help her remove the ancient rune and when we attempted to reverse the magic her heart almost stopped. We tried again, at her request, and then the windows smashed in and before I knew it, she was gone. Snape carried her away. I fucking let her go. Like the coward I am."

Theo sat next to Draco and handed him a flask he carried in his pocket. Theo tended to keep a flask of fire whiskey on him, especially at night. Draco always suspected Theo had a touch of a drinking problem, but in this moment, Draco desperately needed some liquid relief.

Draco took a long slug from the flask and handed it back to Nott. He felt the burning sensation coursing down his throat, but at this moment nothing bothered him. Not even the bloody cuts on his knuckles.

"Is she dead?" Theo asked lowly.

"I don't know." Draco said breathlessly.

Draco felt his eyes begin to pool but his ego takes over his emotions. He shot up once more and gripped the railing with rage. He looked at Theo with intent as his friend began to stand up.

"I must find her." Draco said boldly.

"Let me help." Theo demanded.

Draco shook his head and began to walk past Theo.

"Forget it. I love her, I will find her. Even if that means killing every man on the Dark Lord's council. She is mine." Draco spat.

Draco felt it useless to attend his classes because the only thing on his mind was Astoria. He considered every place the Dark Lord would keep her away. It would be every place Draco was not permitted to enter. Draco was sitting in the library reading a book on Ancient Runes when he heard someone sit with him.