All I Have Left

Chapter Eighty

I had broken up with Ronald.

At first, I was too nervous, and so I just ignored him for a whole month, which had proven hard, since whenever I encountered Hermione or Harry, they would try to ask me questions about it, leaving me to ignore them as well.

So D.A. meetings were awkward, but still something very exciting to live for. But it was stressful, with everything happening for me to ignore my Gryffindor friends, them being the only ones who understand.

On the night Gryffindor lost to Hufflepuff, I almost managed to push the door in the long corridor open... but couldn't tell Harry about it, which had gotten on my nerves.

The Quibbler for March came out and there was an interview where Harry revealed everything that happened the night on the night of the third task, which- when I read it- resulted in me rushing to the loo to throw up.

He mentioned Cedric's death, Voldemort returning and Wormtail's process in bringing him back, and he even mentioned me... which made it even worse. People were relentless about coming up to me in the hallways and asking me questions about that night, as though I was as comfortable talking about it as Harry was. 

I wasn't, which Daphne- who I had been hanging around with now, along with Blaise, Astoria and, regrettably, Malfoy- would scold them furiously for, and they would scurry off.

But the article also mentioned the Death Eaters and their names, including Lucius Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery, Macnair, and Nott, who's children were not very happy, but couldn't say anything because Umbridge said whoever was caught reading The Quibbler would be expelled, and the Slytherins couldn't admit to reading it.

Another thing I couldn't talk to Harry about.

Then I had this horrifying dream where I was talking to Rookwood- one of the ten Death Eaters to escape Azkaban- and was questioning him about an object, which he said Avery wrongly told him that Bode could remove "it", but wasn't able to, and it made him go insane.

And I couldn't talk to Harry or Hermione about that, so I had to figure it all out by myself.

Eventually, I came to the conclusion that Rookwood and Voldemort- who I was in the body of- were talking about the weapon the Order told us about. Bode was put under the Imperius Curse by Lucius Malfoy to claim the object, but couldn't claim it like Avery said. 

Then Trelawney was sacked, almost banned off grounds before Dumbledore came to her rescue, and the centaur Firenze took her place.

Our first lesson with Firenze was odd, but delightful nonetheless. I had been the closest one to complete our assignment, but I was still very far away, Firenze stating that even centaurs had difficulty predicting the future.

Predicting the future sucked, however, since you can't even change it. 

So, during lessons I sat by Daphne in all of them, forcing Blaise to sit by Malfoy and someone else to sit by Ronald. 

In D.A. meetings, I partnered up with Luna while the fourth year girl she was partners with went with Hermione, who seemed very displeased about it.

I continued to have the dreams with the corridors and, at this point, I was wondering why Dumbledore had only asked Harry to receive Occlumency lessons and not me, but it is Dumbledore...

But when I had nothing else to do, being that I was also kicked off the Quidditch team, I revised. I spent all of my time in the library researching and going over everything we learned this year, being that O.W.L.'s were very soon. 

Blaise had become my new study partner and we had down a pretty good routine; we met in the library and sat at the same table, sharing our books and going over the things for our exams, occasionally asking one another on a question or two.