past mistakes

To Explain Or Not To Explain

Finally, my mom lets me put my plate in the dishwasher. Kendall comes with, bringing her dirty utensils along too. We get some ice cream and come back to the table.

"Let's eat dessert on the couch," my dad suggest, as he gets up. I sigh frustratedly, then walk over to the couches. Kendall and I sit on the biggest couch, with my parents, while Jack and Prescott sit on the other one. Prescott keeps his distance.

We talk some more. I honestly forget what it is like to talk with my family. I'm not really contributing to the conversations, but I do like hearing them talk. There seems to be so much to say. I really do miss them.

When we finish eating our desserts, my parents say that they are going to go for a walk around the neighborhood, to say hello to all of their friends.

As soon as they leave, we all look at each other, waiting for someone to say something first. Kendall actually speaks first, "You're not actually going to go back to boarding school, right?"

I stare at her, clenching my jaw as hard as I can. "Yes I am," I say as I walk towards the stairs. Someone tugs on my arm, so my head whips around. Jack. As he tries to say something, I interrupt him louder, "Don't touch me!" I pull my hand out of his grasp and run upstairs. As I am running, I hear Kendall say, "Jack, leave her alone for now."

I know he says something after that, but I don't care to listen hard enough to understand him. Anger pulses through my entire body.

A few minutes later, someone knocks on my door. I don't even bother to answer. Then I hear Kendall say, "Can I please come in?"

I sigh, "Sure."

She slowly opens the door and closes it after she comes in. "I'm so sorry you had to do that. I'm really proud of you for sticking through it."

I scoff, "But I didn't and now my mom is going to question me until she gets her answer."

Kendall sits down on my bed, "Just tell her you are upset about a boy. Don't even mention Jack. But MC, please don't leave because of him. But please don't stay because of Prescott or me. I want you to do what you want to do."

"But I can't even be in a room with him. How am I supposed to live with him?"

Kendall chuckles softly, "Believe it or not, eventually, you will be able to look at him without wanting to punch him."

I shake my head, "I'm not sure about that, but I know what you mean."

She laughs while nodding, "Good point."

Then she stands up, "I'm gonna go talk to him. He's been asking me all day."

"About what?"

"You, obviously, but I'm not sure exactly what he wants to say. I'll talk to you after though."

I nod, then she walks out. I sit on my bed for a long time. Thirty minutes pass by of me just zoning out, thinking about a lot of things. I replay every part of that meal. I am startled by a knock on my door. I assume it's Kendall, so I say, "Come in."

It is not Kendall though, it's my mom. She comes in and sits on my bed with me. "How are you Mary Cate?"

"I'm fine mom. Sorry I had an outburst at dinner."

My mom sighs, "How are you really? You clearly aren't fine. What happened?"

I debate what I should say. How honest should I be? "Well, I guess something did happen. It was just a dumb boy though. I won't let him get to me too much."

My mom frowns, "Aw Mary Cate, why didn't you tell me? What happened?"

I sigh, "I, uh, it's hard to talk about, but we aren't talking anymore." That's as normal as I can get it.