past mistakes

LX

My head. Everything- it hurts. I actually feel like I'm dying. This is what hell feels like. My head is spinning. This is the worst dizziness I have ever felt. I try to stand up but I feel gagging in my throat. I run over to the restroom and throw up. The worst part is that I don't even feel better afterward.

When I walk back to the kitchen, Kendall, Jack and Prescott are staring at me. I stop in my tracks and already feel embarrassment.

"What were you thinking?" Prescott asks.

"I don't know. I swear I didn't drink that much." I think back. I can't remember very much, but I feel like I didn't. I wouldn't. Not after everything.

Prescott sighs, "I don't think it was you. It was that creep you were with."

"You mean Bryce? No, he was fine."

They all look at each other and roll their eyes. Kendall says, "I need to talk to MC, can you guys give us a minute?"

The guys slowly walk out. Kendall whispers, "You were in a room with that guy for a long time. Did something happen?"

I think back, I kind of remember that. I remember Bryce not having a shirt on and I don't know if mine was on or not. But there's no way that we did anything. No way. I would just know. I would know.

"No, nothing happened."

Kendall says gently, "Are you sure? You seemed like you were not yourself."

"No, there's no way something happened." She doesn't seem to believe me though.

"We should just go home," Kendall says.

"No way. We just got here. It's the Hamptons."

Kendall sighs. "I'm fine, Kendall," I say looking her in the eyes. "I feel pretty bad, but other than that, I'm fine."

Kendall takes a few seconds before nodding, "Okay." She stands up which I guess tells Prescott and Jack that we are done talking.

Kendall mumbles to them, "Just let her rest." They both look annoyed that they can't get at me I guess. I already feel awful, I don't need anything else to go wrong.

I chug a water bottle and lay on the couch. I fall asleep for a while.

I wake up because I feel someone sitting on the couch. I sit up and open my eyes pretty quickly. It's just Jack though.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he mumbles.

I sigh and say, "I don't want to talk right now."

"You said you weren't still mad." I'm not even mad, I just feel awful and I'm exhausted. I've never felt this way before. I feel so awful.

"I'm not mad, Jack. I just feel like trash."

He looks at me, which makes me feel uncomfortable. "Wendorf, did anything happen?"

"Jack, I'm not talking to you about this."

"Come on, we loved each other at some point. I won't judge you."

I scoff, "Jack, seriously, don't make me more annoyed than I already am. Just stop talking."

Jack sighs. He doesn't move from the couch though. He looks tired.

It's a pretty lazy day for me. I spend the whole time trying to remember details from last night. I remember some events but not who they're with, or I just don't remember the event at all.

Later in the afternoon, I look through my texts and see that the last time I had this open was when he was putting his phone number in. I send a generic, 'Hi Bryce' because I am not in the mood to be creative.