past mistakes

Prior Engagements

We sit there in silence for some time. The noise is still clouding my hearing. I just need some time to adjust to the silence. I finally stand up and announce, "I'm gonna go sleep."

Kendall gets up after me, saying, "Me too. Leo you can take the guest room downstairs." He nods and starts walking towards it- he stays in there all of the time.

Jack stands up after us and follows me upstairs. I go into my bathroom and wash my face. The cold water still didn't shake me from this hazy state. I change into something comfier too. I jump into bed just to be disrupted by a knock on my bedroom door.

I yell, "Come in," thinking it would be Kendall. It's not- it's Jack.

"I'm sorry about all of the stuff I put you through today," he mumbles, looking down after he stops speaking. He averts his eyes from making eye contact with mine.

"It's fine, you can stop apologizing."

He steps closer to my bed and says, "Do you forgive me?" He finally looks in my eyes.

"Yeah, of course," I mutter before clearing my throat.

"Do you forgive me because we didn't get caught or because you know I'm sorry?" he asks. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly.

"Jack, I forgive you because I know it was a stupid mistake. If we got caught, I don't know if I would be as cool, but we didn't, so who cares?" I reply, now being the one to avoid eye contact. I fidget with my fingers, feeling his eyes on me.

He sighs and walks even closer to my bed. He can't get any closer. "So, are you and Evan back together?"

Quickly, I respond, "No, we just talked for a second. I have to text him tomorrow but that's it."

His eyebrow raises, "You sure?" His eyes are squinted slightly.

I nod with no hesitation, "Yes."

"Then you have changed," he states. His eyes look bluer than normal somehow.

I smile and push his arm, "Get out of my room, Harris."

He smiles and walks to the door with confidence. He runs his hand along my desk before stepping out of my room.

I go to sleep soon after that.

Without any texts from my mother, we continue living our lives as if the party never happened. Well, we spent a considerable amount of the morning cleaning my house, but once the evidence was gone, the guilt was too.

After lunch, we all decide to get up and do something. I suggest tennis which is the only suggestion anyone gave.

We start playing doubles and trading teams after someone wins a set.

We play all afternoon until the sun goes down. I am completely sweaty and tired, as is everyone else. We all eat our dinner by the pool, dipping our feet into the water. The air is cool and breezy. I can distantly smell someone barbecuing in the distance. It takes me back to my younger years when my dad would barbecue for us.

We make dumb conversation the whole evening. We keep the mood light, although there is some tension between me and Leo. I don't want to be mad at him because I understand that he was drinking. He just got caught up in the moment.

We all shower and hang out in our rooms after. Well, I'm sure Leo and Kendall were together somewhere, but I was in my room.

I'm only just now realizing that I didn't text Evan. I don't have much desire to, but I do feel bad since I said I would. He's a nice guy.

I get out my phone and start texting, 'Hey Evan, I'm not sure if us hanging out again is a good idea.' That is what I was planning on doing from the start anyway.

At ten, he responded, 'I knew you would say that, but we had fun the other night. You should reconsider.' I let out a sigh. I thought I was done with him last year- how did I get myself mixed up with him again?

While I was deciding what to say, I heard a knock at my door. "What?" I yell, frankly glad to have a distraction.

Jack opens the door and says, "Is that how you are answering the door now?" He grins as he walks further into my room.

"What is it, Harris? I'm busy."

He walks around to get a view of my phone, "Doing what?"

I sigh, not bothering to try hiding my phone screen. "I'm trying to figure out how to answer Evan."

"You're still talking to that guy? I thought you said there was nothing there." He crosses his arms.

"There's not. He just thinks there is."

"And you didn't lead him on at all?" Jack makes his voice go higher at the end. His eyebrow raises just like his voice.

I throw a pillow at him, "Shut up Jack, you're one to talk." I set my phone down and cross my own arms. I try to mimic his manly mannerisms.

Jack tossed the pillow next to me, "I haven't invited a single girl over since you've been home Wendorf."

I think about it, but sure enough, he's right. I scrunch my lips together and stare into his eyes.

"Whatever," I mumble, moving my eyes to my bed. The eye contact is making my stomach feel weird, almost queasy.

Jack chuckles then sits down on one of my chairs. He clears his throat, "So, what is it about you and empty houses?" We both know that he had asked that before. I look at him with a flat face.

"There are plenty of parts of that night that I could bring up that you wouldn't like, so you probably don't wanna go there." My voice becomes almost a whisper as I say the last sentence.

"That's the only thing I remember, so I don't know how embarrassed I should be." He laughs with naive eyes.

I laugh with him, "Trust me, you should be." My eyebrows raise for a split second.

"Okay, but I still wanna know the answer now that I'll be able to remember it."

"It's personal. Some things you can't smile your way into knowing." I reply with a serious expression.

Jack laughs, "You sure?" He starts to smile.

I throw the same pillow at him while saying, "I'm actually trying to do something, so leave."

He nods, "Right, texting Evan back. I guess I'll leave you to it." He stands up slowly and makes his way out of my room.

As he opens the door, I say loudly, "Night, beautiful," hoping he gets the joke.

He turns around and starts laughing out of embarrassment. He closes my door with a shake of his head. I laugh under my breath as I hear the floorboards creak behind my bedroom door.

I text Evan back, 'I'll think about it.' I believe it is just enough to not hurt his feelings but it also doesn't give me any expectations to make plans.